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Chill out, Juno. You’re projecting.
‘Jade... I... It’s wonderful to hear you too,’ she said, the sting of tears roughening her voice. She took a calming breath to beat down the butterfly battalion. ‘I’m sorry I woke you up,’ she added. ‘And I know I’m not supposed to call, but...’
But what, exactly? Juno stalled.
She’d rehearsed this conversation a thousand times since she and Leo had agreed to a no-strings affair three days ago and she still did not know what she wanted to say to her sister...
She was so confused, so conflicted—racked with guilt and yet at the same time full of excitement, anticipation...yearning.
Agreeing to jump Leo and let him jump her tonight after the ball was wrong on so many levels it wasn’t even funny but at the same time felt so right.
She had so many questions she didn’t have answers to, the most glaring of which was like a ten-ton elephant that wasn’t just in the room any more, it was now sitting on her chest and twirling.
Should she tell Leo who she really was before they did it? After they did it? Not at all? Wouldn’t the truth risk ruining everything, not just for her, and Leo, but for Jade, too? But if she didn’t tell him, would she be able to live with herself? Live with the guilt?
If this connection was just about sex, would it be so wrong to continue to pretend to be her sister? If they’d already agreed that the discussion about marriage wasn’t a part of this development? And really what she’d discovered about Leo, and what Leo had discovered about her, was all true. He’d loved the way she handled herself during their engagements, and they’d found it harder and harder to keep their hands off each other in the last three days. Why couldn’t tonight’s ball and what happened afterwards be about who they were, instead of who they were not...?
The hypothetical arguments had spun around in her head over the last three days like out-of-control dodgems at a fairground, getting faster and faster, banging into one another, but never finding a place to stop.
‘Juno, what’s wrong?’ her sister said, picking up on her unease from over four thousand miles away, and the hypothetical dodgems slowed, momentarily.
‘Something, something’s happened,’ Juno blurted out. ‘Something... I really did not expect...’ Her voice trailed off. How to explain that combustible chemistry and the connection she’d established with Leo in the last seven days? How did she make sense of it to Jade? When she didn’t really understand it herself?
‘Is this about Leo, and your state visit to Severene?’ her sister said. ‘You make a great couple.’
‘We’re not a couple,’ Juno said, instantly. Not only were they not a couple yet, but even if they became one, tonight, after the ball, as planned, it could never be more than a fleeting, physical connection. That she knew for sure.
‘Are you certain?’ Jade’s voice was gentle, coaxing—and so devoid of judgement, the dodgems started revving their engines again. ‘You look happy together in all the press coverage. And by the way you’re doing a stunning job impersonating me. Better than I could do myself.’
‘I’m just good at faking it,’ Juno said.
‘You’re not faking anything, Ju, you’re a natural,’ her sister replied, the wistful tone confusing Juno more. ‘I always told you Papa was wrong not to consider you as his successor, and now I get to say I told you so.’
‘Aren’t you angry with me?’ Juno asked.
‘Why would I be angry?’ Her sister sounded genuinely puzzled.
‘Because I’m not supposed to be in Severene? Because this swap was never supposed to get this complicated? Because I could end up completely screwing up Monrova’s diplomatic relationship with Severene.’
If Leo found out who she really was—and went ballistic—which was a distinct possibility.
The truth was, she had no real clue how Leo would react.
He might think it was funny, sexy, cool. But what if he didn’t? What if he got super mad and ended up hating her? What if it caused a diplomatic incident? And he punished Jade, too? If this was just about sex would it be better never to tell him the truth? Just in case? To protect herself and her sister? She’d been rejected before, she knew just how much that hurt. And did she really have the right to risk Jade’s reputation, when she had been the one to push for this swap in the first place?
Every day she’d kept the secret, every day she’d got closer to Leo, discovered more about him, and herself, the stakes had got higher. It had never been her intention to hurt anyone. But in the last week, all the possible ramifications of what could happen if she told Leo the truth—good and bad—had begun to torture her.
Three days ago, Leo’s offer of a private no-strings fling had seemed like the perfect solution. If the marriage was off the table, how could sleeping with him do any harm?
And Leo was the one who had suggested it.
Now every time he looked at her as if he wanted to devour her, and she melted in response; every time he winked at her or smiled at her, and she became breathless; every time she looked at him and saw the traumatised child as well as the man he had become, she knew this thing between them was about her and Leo, not Jade and Leo, and certainly not some arranged marriage...
‘No, I’m not angry about any of that,’ her sister said at last, interrupting Juno’s frantic qualifications. ‘I’ve come to realise, seeing the press reports of you two, that Leo and I were never meant to be together,’ Jade added. ‘I’m really glad you persuaded me to come to New York.’ She paused. ‘It’s been an eye-opening experience for me. I also think it’s super cute that there seems to be something developing between you two.’
‘There’s nothing developing between us. Nothing permanent anyway,’ Juno murmured.
Whether she told Leo who she really was or not, nothing could come of their liaison. ‘It’s just... There’s a lot of chemistry between us,’ she said. ‘And I like him more than I ever expected to.’
