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‘I am.’
His gaze became hooded, wary. ‘I told you I can’t offer you that,’ he said, as if he were reciting a treatise to a foreign power. Instead of addressing the woman he’d just made violent love to, the woman who carried his child.
‘What about our baby, Zane? Can you offer the baby your love?’ She could hear the edge in her voice. The anger she’d never allowed herself to feel for herself but which she suddenly felt for her child.
He thrust his fingers through his hair. ‘We’re both tired, and you need to get some rest. Let’s talk about this tomorrow.’
‘No, I want to talk about it now.’
The dark frown would have warned her off before. But he’d just destroyed this magical moment with his indifference—and if nothing else he owed her an explanation.
‘Fine, Catherine. If you insist. No, I do not intend to love this child. I’m simply not capable of that type of emotion.’
She pressed a hand to her chest. Shocked by the flat tone.
‘Why not?’
‘You said it yourself—my own father was a monster.’
That’s not an answer, she wanted to scream, but before she could get the words out past the boulder of stunned outrage in her throat, he continued talking.
‘I think it best in the circumstances that we end our sexual relationship. I’ll arrange to have your possessions moved back to the women’s quarters. You’re going to be busy between now and when the baby’s born, finishing off your book. It’s probably best if I don’t distract you further.’
‘Distract me?’ she said. Horrified at the nonchalant tone. ‘But I love you. I’m your wife, the mother of your child. I want us to be a family.’
‘You don’t love me. You don’t know me. If you did, you’d know what you want isn’t possible with a man like me.’
‘Don’t talk in riddles, Zane,’ she snapped, the anger flowing freely through her now to disguise the crippling pain. ‘What does that even mean? I can understand if you don’t love me. I was willing to wait for intimacy and understanding between us to grow. But you won’t even try? And now you’re telling me you won’t even try to love our child either?’
She’d never raised her voice, never deliberately sought a confrontation. She’d blamed herself, her expectations, the circumstances, the timing.
Why had it taken her three months to see the blame for the empty spaces in their marriage lay with him? And his refusal to bend. Even in the slightest.
He was the one who had refused to talk about anything but the most superficial details of their relationship. He was the one who hadn’t budged an inch since their marriage. He was the one who came to her every other night, as if he were on a schedule and then left.
She’d let him get away with far too much.
‘You’re tired and you’re overwrought.’ Gripping her elbow, he led her out of the bathing chamber and back towards her own suite.
She wanted to argue, to shout, to carry on, but the storm of emotions inside overwhelmed her. And the anger drained away until all that was left was the hurt.
She walked into the room, and he stopped at the threshold.
‘We can talk more tomorrow,’ he said. ‘When you’re willing to be practical.’
She collapsed on the bed as soon as he was gone. But then she felt it again, the flutter of their child. Wanting to be heard. Wanting to be loved.
Pushing herself up, she glanced around the ornate chamber. It wasn’t his mother’s room, but it was just the same, she realised. A gilded prison.
She had become trapped by her love for a man who could never love her back. The way her father had been trapped by his love for her mother. Trapped in an unhappy, insubstantial marriage.
Eventually Zane would stray. How could he not? He was a highly sexed man—he wasn’t going to spend the rest of his life celibate.
She would have to watch him take lovers, the way her father had once been forced to watch her mother.
Their marriage would be an empty shell of duty and nothing more. A charade, to protect a child he couldn’t even love.
Swiping the tears from her eyes, she sat up. She had to leave. What other option was open to her? She’d tried for three long months. She’d tried. But if she waited until the baby was born, she would be tra
