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Excitement stirred in Kasia’s blood as they were led into the ultrasound room. Five minutes later she was lying on the bed, the cold jelly smeared on her abdomen and the obstetrician pressing the wand into the small baby bump.
The sound of a heartbeat beating in double time echoed around the room as Kasia watched the monitor, the indistinct shapes making her blink back tears. This was her and Raif’s child. The lump in her throat grew and she gripped his fingers. He squeezed back, instinctively answering her sudden need for reassurance.
‘Aha,’ Ms Siddiqui said, as if she’d just made an important discovery. ‘I think we have the source of your nausea and the exhaustion, Mrs Khan.’
‘Please call me Kasia,’ she said as the obstetrician circled two of the shapes on the screen with a wand.
‘You’re carrying twins, Kasia,’ Ms Siddiqui replied with a benevolent smile.
Twins?
‘There are two babies?’ Raif released her fingers, his voice raw.
‘Yes, Mr Khan.’ She pointed to the two shapes she’d circled. ‘Here and here. And can you hear that slight echo on the heartbeat? That’s because there are actually two heartbeats but they’re beating almost in unison.’ The obstetrician continued to press the wand into Kasia’s belly, moving it around to get a better view of their babies.
Their two babies.
Kasia’s stomach leapt and jiggled along with her heartbeat. She’d always wanted to be a mother and now she was going to be a mother twice over. She couldn’t think of anything more wonderful.
But as the doctor took a series of measurements and answered all her eager questions about the pregnancy, Raif remained silent and tense.
Ms Siddiqui was fantastic, both pragmatic and kind, reassuring them that while the babies were big for the dates and a twin pregnancy was always more of a hormonal shock to the mother’s system—which probably explained the nausea and the tiredness—Kasia was strong and healthy and once her body adjusted, everything should settle down. Raif did not look convinced.
‘Are you okay, Raif?’ Kasia asked, after he had helped her into the waiting car, as if she were a hundred and two years old and made of spun glass and might fracture into a thousand pieces at any minute.
He didn’t reply to her question, his body language still painfully tense as he stared out of the car window at the passing scenery, lost in his thoughts. They were staying in a hotel in Cambridge tonight, so she could supervise the packing of her belongings in the morning, then leave for Narabia tomorrow evening to visit Cat and Zane and their children before heading into the desert and the Kholadi encampment in a few days’ time.
She knew arrangements were already under way for a royal wedding ceremony—their marriage wasn’t legal in Kholadi, according to Raif, unless they said their vows in front of his people.
‘Raif, is something wrong?’ she repeated as the car turned onto Euston Road. ‘You’re not unhappy about it being twins, are you?’
He swung round, finally having heard her. ‘No, of course not,’ he said, but the muscle in his jaw was twitching so violently she was surprised he hadn’t got lockjaw, and the expression in his eyes—hooded and wary—reminded her of the man she had first met in the desert. The man who had suffered a gunshot wound without saying a word.
He’d opened up so much in the last three weeks, she’d seen a softer, more relaxed side to his personality. And she’d loved meeting that man, getting to know him. But why did it suddenly feel as if that man had disappeared?
Stop freaking out. You’re still suffering from mild shock yourself.
Two babies was a lot to contemplate.
‘How are you?’ he asked, his eyes narrowing as he studied her face.
‘I’m fine. I’m great,’ she said, wanting to reassure him, even if she was feeling a little weary. And some of her own fears, about the burden of motherhood and how she was going to cope with bringing up two children instead of one, had resurfaced.
As excited as she was about this pregnancy, she also knew there would be struggles ahead. But she was determined to be positive. No matter what. One thing she knew for sure, nothing on earth would make her want to abandon these babies the way her own mother had abandoned her.
‘Don’t lie,’ he said, reading her too easily. ‘Come here.’ Lifting his arm, he beckoned her towards him. ‘Sit next to me,’ he suggested. He unlocked her seatbelt and refastened her into the seat next to his. Then wrapped his arm around her.
She placed her head on his shoulder as directed, and listened to the comforting beat of his heart as her eyelids drooped.
‘Get some sleep,’ he murmured, placing a kiss on top of her hair.
She snuggled into his arms, the anxiety at his reaction—and her own irrational fears—fading as she drifted into an exhausted sleep.
They arrived in Cambridge at nightfall. After a light meal in the living room of their suite, he insisted on carrying her into the bedroom, undressing her and feeding her one of the iron tablets the obstetrician had prescribed.
She was so tired she could barely lift her arms, let alone persuade him to join her in their bed. But as he kissed her forehead, she thought she heard him whisper, ‘Sorry.’
Don’t be ridiculous, Kaz.
