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‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’
TWELVE
Ella whipped round at the surly shout, her heart jumping into her throat at the sight of Cooper, looking gorgeous and annoyed, standing in the doorway, his face cast in bold relief by the coloured lights bursting in the sky outside.
She folded her underwear into the suitcase, flipped the lid closed and took several deep breaths to slow her galloping heartbeat. ‘I’m packing,’ she said. ‘I’ve booked myself on the night flight to London. It leaves at eleven.’
‘What the...?’ The expletive echoed round the room as he slammed the door shut. ‘When exactly were you planning to tell me this? Or weren’t you planning to tell me? Is that why you ran off early from the wedding?’
She stiffened, stunned by the anger, and the accusation. ‘No, of course not. I planned to tell you when you got back. It’s just...’ She chewed on her lip, determined not to fold again under the pressure of her own insecurities. She’d let him dictate the terms of this relationship—or non-relationship—right from the start. But it was only as she’d had to stand by his side and listen to his friend recite her vows, while enduring the speculative looks of all his friends, that she’d begun to realise how little she’d been prepared to settle for. Because she had lacked the courage to demand more.
‘I think we need some space,’ she continued. ‘There’s something I have to tell you and—’
‘Yeah, well, I’ve got something to tell you.’ He cut in before she could get the words out she’d been psyching herself up to say all evening. ‘I want you to stay, to move in with me.’
‘What?’ She sat down on the bed, her legs going boneless as her insides tumbled with an odd combination of hope and astonishment at the unexpected offer. ‘You want me to stay? Seriously?’
She hadn’t been wrong: there had been something developing between them, and he’d seen it too. Of course, she couldn’t just abandon her life in London, but that he would even suggest such a thing had to be a very good sign that his feelings had deepened too.
He took her arm, drew her up. Touching his forehead to hers, he settled his hand on her neck, to stroke the flutter of her pulse. ‘Of course. You’re having my kid. I want to be there for you both, not thousands of miles away.’
It took a moment for her to hear the words past the delighted buzz of anticipation. ‘But that’s...’ She struggled to clarify, to make sure she’d understood. ‘You only want me to stay because of the baby?’
His lips quirked, his brow wrinkling in a puzzled frown. ‘Yeah, of course, what else is there?’
There’s me. I need you to want me too.
She stepped out of his arms, the blow both shattering and painfully ironic. When she’d first arrived in Bermuda, hearing him say those words would have felt like a miracle. But now they felt desperately bittersweet. How could she accept his offer, when she wanted so much more?
She looked into those jade-green eyes that she had come to adore, but held so many secrets, and said
the only words she could. ‘I can’t stay, Coop. It’s not—’
‘Why not? Is it because of your business? I get that...’ He touched her waist, trying to reassure her, but only making her heart shatter a little more. ‘We can work out the logistics. I’ll need to be in Bermuda for the summer season, but otherwise I can come to London. I’ve got money, whatever we need to do to make this work—’
‘That isn’t it...’ She placed her hand on his cheek, loving him even more if that were possible. He was a generous man, who wanted to do the right thing for his child.
‘Then what is it?’ he asked.
‘This isn’t about the baby. It’s about me, and you.’
‘What?’
She swallowed, knowing she needed to tell him, and hoping against hope that he wouldn’t freak out when she did. ‘I think I’m falling in love with you.’
He dropped his head back to hers, let out a rush of breath and then, to her total astonishment, he chuckled, the sound deep, and amused and self-satisfied. ‘Damn, is that all?’
She stepped back. ‘It’s not funny. I’m serious.’
He shrugged, his lips tipping in that seductive smile that she had once found so endearing. ‘I know you are—so what? That’s good, isn’t it? If you love me you’ve got to stay, right?’
‘Not if I don’t know how you feel about me?’ she heard herself say, the question in her voice making her feel needy and pathetic.
‘Don’t be dumb. It’s obvious how I feel about you. I like having you around.’ He held her waist, tugged her back into his arms. ‘I’ve invited you to move in, haven’t I? At least until the kid’s born.’
She braced her hands on his chest, hearing the qualification. ‘But that’s not enough.’
His brow furrowed. ‘Why not?’
