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She covered his hand, glad that the enquiry sounded a lot less tense than it had a couple of weeks ago, the morning after he’d discovered her retching in the bathroom.
He’d stayed the whole night that night for the first time, rubbing her tummy gently while she’d drifted to sleep. And making her breakfast in bed the following morning when she woke up.
She pushed the memory away. It didn’t really mean anything. It just made more sense for him to stay over, instead of driving all the way back to the city late at night.
‘Junior’s fine.’ She
picked up her lip-liner pencil. ‘Now go away before I end up with only half a face on again.’
He made a groaning sound but stepped back. Affection swelled in her chest as she watched him turn his attention to the tie looped round his shoulders. She swallowed down the lump of emotion at the concentrated frown on his face. Funny after having him ‘drop by’ more and more frequently over the last month, it was all the little things about him she had become so accustomed to. The way he liked to spoon in bed after they’d made love like lunatics, the fact that he had no difficulty bounding out of bed at six o’clock when she never felt fully awake now until nearly noon. And the way that little crease always appeared on his brow when he was tying his tie in the morning.
Swivelling round, she brushed his fumbling fingers aside and knotted the tie herself, as she’d also become accustomed to doing.
‘What are your plans for today?’ he asked, leaning forward to check the knot she’d made in the mirror.
‘Eva’s finally coming over for lunch with Carmy, and then I’m checking out that new hotel in Half Moon Bay I was telling you about as a possible wedding venue.’
‘Um-hum.’ He adjusted the tie slightly, then aligned the ends against the buttons of his shirt. Lifting her chin with one finger, he kissed her on the lips and her heartbeat bumped her throat at the tender look in his eyes. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve given some more thought to my offer of investment?’
She turned back to the sink, irritated by the casual enquiry. She did not want to have this discussion again, especially when she was feeling a little fragile and enjoying the comfort and companionship of the mornings they spent together maybe a bit too much.
‘I’m serious, Tess. I’m interested in investing in your business. I can’t understand why you won’t even consider it.’
She found his gaze in the mirror, saw the little crease of consternation on his forehead, but it wasn’t quite so endearing any more. ‘I know you’re serious. So why won’t you believe me when I say I’m serious about not wanting your investment?’
‘Why not? It’s what my company does.’
She snatched up her mascara. ‘For the same reason you won’t even talk about us drawing up a rental contract for this place,’ she said succinctly, lengthening the lash with precision. ‘Because I don’t want your money.’
It wasn’t the only reason, but she couldn’t seem to tell him that the baby would be enough of a connection between them when their ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement was over. That it would be hard enough living here, and seeing him every so often, without having to deal with the added problem of him having an investment in her business.
‘Tess.’ He gripped her shoulders, swung her to face him. ‘This isn’t about me giving you money. It’s an investment. The more capital you have to help with your start-up financing, the easier it will be for you to expand into—’
She pushed his hands off her shoulders. ‘I’ve already told you, I don’t need more capital. The start-up costs have been minimal so far and we’re starting small because that’s the way we want it.’ Plus she knew that his offer of investment had nothing to do with the business and everything to do with the responsibilities he felt towards the baby. But how could she point that out, and not make it sound as if she were looking for more than just a commitment to the baby?
‘Look.’ She gave a weary sigh at the dogged look of determination on his face. ‘I agreed to let you add me to your company health insurance policy, didn’t I? And set up a trust fund for the baby?’ When she thought of all the ways she’d bent over backwards to accommodate his responsible streak she started to get annoyed again. ‘I’ve even put up with your avoidance on the issue of my paying rent for this place!’
His jaw hardened. ‘There is no way I’m letting you pay rent. And I don’t know where you got the dumb idea I would. Apart from the fact that my child will be living here with you in less than five months,’ he said, his gaze straying to her midriff. ‘I’ve been practically living here myself for the last three weeks.’
‘Yes, but that’s not going to go on for ever, is it?’ she murmured, dismissing the heartsick feeling when he didn’t deny it.
She turned away again, not wanting him to see her unhappiness.
What was that all about anyway?
Obviously, once her pregnancy got more advanced, and her sex drive inevitably tapered off, they’d stop sleeping together, and they’d just be friends. Once the baby was born, she’d have a lot more important things to concentrate on and so would he. They wouldn’t have time for sex and spontaneity, they’d be far too busy learning a new life skill—one that neither of them knew anything about. So they’d hardly miss what they had now. It was what they’d agreed. And rightly so. Neither one of them needed any more emotional upheaval in their lives—but why did that justification feel less and less valid and the thought of not having Nate come round for ‘benefits’ sex more and more depressing?
Was she really that shallow and self-absorbed? That here she was about to have a child, and the only thing she could find to really worry about was missing the giddy thrill of anticipation when she got a text or a call saying he was coming over? Or that rush of adrenaline when she answered an evening knock on the cottage door, and found him leaning against the porch, swinging a bag of Chinese take-out from his fingertips like last night?
She shook the thought off and concentrated on applying the liquid eyeliner above her lashes in a straight line, despite the slight trembling in her fingers.
And why was she even worrying about this now? When the time when he wouldn’t be coming over was several months away at least?
There was no sign at the moment of her sex drive, or Nate’s for that matter, tapering off—given the way they’d jumped each other last night.
But when it did end eventually, she would be okay with it, she reassured herself. She was getting upset for no reason. And anyway, their current argument had nothing to do with the sex, and everything to do with his insistence on not letting the subject of his investing in her company drop.
‘Can we please stop talking about this?’ she said, catching his gaze in the mirror as he stood silently behind her, no doubt formulating yet another argument to try and persuade her to do what he wanted. ‘I’m not going to let you invest and that’s the end of it.’
