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At long last the sobs eased off, and Eva shifted back. The dampness in her friend’s eyes almost set Tess off again, but she refused to give in to the pity party.
‘The first thing you need to ask yourself is do you want to have an abortion?’ Eva asked softly.
‘I don’t think so,’ Tess answered instinctively. The tears spilled over again. ‘I’ve been trying really hard to pretend it’s not a baby. Not yet. But the minute I knew, I felt...’ she paused, lifted tear-soaked eyes to her friend ‘...different somehow. Connected. But I’m not sure I have any other options,’ she said dully. The one thing she couldn’t be now was insane. She’d been insane enough already.
Eva glanced at her son, who was happily bouncing in his swing like a gymnast going for Olympic gold. And then looked back at her, the smile in her eyes oddly peaceful. ‘If you want the baby, you should have it. Everything else is just logistics.’
Tess looked up at Eva, her heart shattering. If only it were that simple. ‘I can’t have it.’ But even as she finally said the words, she knew that it wasn’t an It any more, however hard she’d tried to make it one. It was a baby. It was her baby. And the fear of what she would have to do rose up her throat and wrapped its claws round her neck.
‘Yes, you can, Tess,’ said Eva gently. ‘This is your panic talking. You need to stop and think. You’re going to have to change your life, but all we’re talking about here is practicalities. You’ve got seven months to sort your life out before it arrives. And don’t forget you happen to be a master at planning for special events.’
The seconds ticked by as Tess struggled not to hope. ‘That is true.’
Eva took her hands, squeezed tight. ‘You don’t have to make the decision right away. But it is an option. One you should consider properly.’
Tess took a shuddering breath and placed her palm on her stomach, the feeling of connection that she’d tried to deny all morning surging back full force. ‘I do want to have it.’ Just being able to admit the truth out loud made the nausea settle. ‘But it’s not just the practicalities, the lifestyle changes I’ll have to make.’ That had just been a convenient excuse really, she could see that now. ‘How do I know I’ll be any good at it? Being a mother, I mean?’
Eva sighed. ‘You don’t. No one does. Not until they’ve had kids. Everyone has to learn parenthood on the job.’ A smile lit up her features. ‘It’s exciting and terrifying and exhausting and never, ever easy, but that’s what makes it the grandest adventure of your life.’
‘B-but you’re so good at it. Look at Carmy,’ Tess stammered. ‘You’re a natural. I’m not sure I am.’ Her own mother had died so long ago she could barely remember her. And her father had hardly filled the gap.
‘That’s sweet, Tess, but you have no idea how many mistakes Nick and I have made with Carmine. Luckily for us, he’s surprisingly forgiving of all our faults. All you can really promise a child is that you’ll love them. And that you’ll do the best you can. You’ll figure out the rest. You’re not stupid.’ Her pure blue eyes brightened with enthusiasm. ‘And we’ll help. You have friends. A support network and there’s always the possibility the father will want to help when he’s got used to the—’
‘He won’t,’ Tess interrupted. And no way would she ask him again.
Whatever silly fantasies she might have had about Graystone sharing some of the burden had been knocked out of her this morning. And she wasn’t going to resurrect them, not now she knew that the man lurking beneath that sexy and charismatic exterior was as cold and judgemental as her own father. She hardly needed another one of those in her life.
If she was going to have this baby, she would be doing it solo.
‘Okay, let’s put the question of the father aside for now,’ Eva said, carefully. ‘The important thing is that you do what feels right, or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.’
A lone tear trickled down Tess’s cheek, her palm settling again on the belly she jogged eight miles every morning to keep flat and toned.
She let her head drop back and blinked at Eva’s newly painted ceiling, realising that her flat belly would be history soon. And it didn’t bother her a bit. Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes as the giddy swell of excitement thumped at her chest. ‘I’m actually going to be a mummy,’ she whispered.
Eva covered Tess’s hand and laughed. ‘Welcome to the grand adventure, Mummy.’
CHAPTER THREE
‘ZANE, thanks for coming.’ Nate got up from the booth and pressed his hand to his best friend’s shoulder. ‘How was the drive up?’
‘Sweet.’ Zane Montoya flashed his trademark grin and Nate was immediately thrown back in time to their childhood, when that grin had only ever meant one thing—trouble. ‘I opened the Sixty-Seven up on 101 and she took those curves like a pr
o.’ Zane relaxed into the booth, his long legs stretching under the table.
Nate signalled the waitress to bring two Mexican beers before joining his friend in the comforting darkness. He’d wanted privacy for this chat, and luckily Murphy’s, the small neighbourhood bar a block from his offices, offered just that.
‘The Sixty-Seven?’
‘My latest acquisition,’ Zane replied, the face that had seduced a thousand women taking on a boyish glow of enthusiasm. ‘Sixty-Seven Mustang, soft top, Cobra Jet V8 engine, reconditioned gearbox and white-wall tyres.’
Nate gave a low whistle. ‘Where did you pick that up?’
‘Little old lady in Pasadena.’ Settling into the booth, Zane rested one arm across the back of it. ‘Who drove a mighty hard bargain. It needed a heck of a lot of work after spending forty years gathering dust in her garage.’
Nate doubted Zane minded a bit, as fooling around with cars and engines had been his passion since high school. That and chasing women—of every size, age, shape and religious persuasion.
The waitress arrived and placed their order on the table, gazing dreamily at Zane, then letting out a flirtatious giggle when he saluted her with his bottle.
