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She tugged her arm free, the accusation in his face cutting into her insides. How stupid she had been to keep this a secret. When it was the thing that had grounded her for so long. Stopped all those stupid romantic dreams from destroying her.
‘I’m not going to get accidentally pregnant. Because I can’t.’
She walked past him, suddenly desperate to get away from him. She needed to have some clothes on and to get out of here.
‘Wait—what are you saying?’ He followed her out of the bathroom and dragged her round to face him.
She thrust her forearms against him. ‘Let me go. I want to leave.’
She tried to wrestle free, but he wouldn’t let go.
‘You need to tell me what you mean.’
She could feel the storm welling inside her, tearing at her insides the way it had for so many years while she’d struggled to come to terms with the truth. But she didn’t want to break in front of him. She had to be in control, to be measured, not let him see how much this had devastated her when she told him the details—or he would know she’d fallen for him again. And the one thing she could not bear was his pity.
‘I told you—I can’t get pregnant.’
‘Why can’t you?’
The probing question was too much.
‘What gives you the right to ask me that?’
‘Hell, Red, just tell me why you can’t have another child. I want to know.’
The storm churned in her stomach, more violent than the one they’d survived together, and tears were stinging her eyes.
‘Because I’m barren. Because I waited too long in that motel room to call my father. I was sure that you would come for me. I was haemorrhaging. There was an infection. Understand?’
She headed towards the lounge, frantic now.
‘I need to leave. I should have left yesterday.’
This time she held back the tears with an iron will. Pity, responsibility, sex—those were the only things Dane had ever had to give. She could see that so clearly now.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ His voice sounded strained.
‘Because it happened and now it’s over,’ she said.
She got dressed while he watched. Grateful when he didn’t approach her. She was stronger now. She could get through this. She wasn’t the bright, naive girl she’d once been—someone who’d come close to being destroyed by her past. She could never let him have that power over her again.
Shoving the few meagre items she had brought with her into her briefcase, she turned to look at him.
; He stood in the doorway, the towel hooked around his waist, his expression frozen and unreadable.
‘You know what’s really idiotic?’ she said. ‘For a moment there I thought we could make this work. That somehow we could overcome all the mistakes from our past, all the things we did wrong, and make it right.’
‘What?’
He looked so stunned she hesitated—but only for a moment. This was a ludicrous pipe dream. It always had been and always would be.
‘It was a stupid idea,’ she said. ‘Like before.’
She wanted to be angry with him, so she could fill the great gaping hole in the pit of her stomach. But she couldn’t. Because all she could feel was an agonising sense of loss.
‘Damn it, Red. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.’
