Page 50 of BTW I Love You


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‘I’m not. I wanted you to come to London for a number of reasons.’ He thrust his tongue into his cheek to stop from smiling. ‘Not all of them sexual.’

Her eyes narrowed to slits. ‘You actually think this is funny. Don’t you?’

He grasped her wrist as she tried to pass him.

‘Let go. I’m leaving,’ she said, trying to prise his fingers loose.

He drew her rigid body towards him, wrapping his arm around her hips to hold her in place.

‘Don’t be daft,’ he said. ‘You didn’t come all this way just to walk off in a huff ten minutes after you got here.’

She wriggled furiously, her eyes flashing to his as his growing erection butted against her. ‘I didn’t come all this way just so you could poke me the minute I got here either.’

He choked back a laugh. ‘Fair enough.’ He lifted his hands, letting her scramble away. ‘How about we call a truce? You don’t run off. And I promise not to poke you.’ He paused, unable to resist the suggestive grin. ‘Yet.’

Temper flared but she schooled it, the flush of colour more vivid. And he felt the first tug of guilt.

She was right. He had been selfish and manipulative. And he knew it. When he’d spoken to her on the phone that morning, he’d heard the shock and the disappointment, then the confusion in her voice and he’d trampled over all three to get what he wanted.

He’d railroaded her into coming, deliberately making himself unavailable so she would find it impossible to back out. He wasn’t going to give her a second opportunity to turn him down the way she had a week ago. They needed to get this thing sorted between them once and for all.

He’d given the problem of Maddy Westmore a lot of thought while he was in California and had figured it all out. Maddy wasn’t really the issue so much as the circumstances.

She’d caught him at a vulnerable time in his life. The accident had knocked his confidence more than he’d wanted to admit. He’d never originally intended to spend so much time with her, but the evenings they spent together had become like a drug. The cottage, with its worn, comfortable furniture, infused with the scent of herbs and spices and decorated in Maddy’s cluttered but welcoming style, had relaxed him, while Maddy’s responsive little body and sweet, undemanding companionship had made him feel whole again.

Bringing her to London would help to put that episode of his life behind him once and for all. This was where he belonged, in the cut and thrust of the thriving metropolis. And Maddy didn’t. Once they’d burnt out the last of the sexual chemistry they shared, they’d both be ready to go their separate ways with no regrets.

The little trickle of guilt dried up. He wasn’t a hypocrite and had always believed the ends justified the means. So, frankly, it was stupid to feel bad about tactics he’d planned so methodically for eleven solid hours on the plane back from California.

Especially when those tactics, however underhand, had produced the desired result. Maddy, in London, in his apartment.

He gave a heavy sigh. Only problem was, if they were going to make productive use of her time here, he’d have to pour some water onto the fire—no matter how tempting it was to watch it spark and sizzle.

He stepped towards her, tucked a forefinger under her chin, brought her gaze to his.

‘I don’t think of you as my mistress, Maddy. And I didn’t bring you here to become my sexual plaything. If you don’t want to sleep with me, you certainly don’t have to.’ Although he’d do his damnedest to make her change her mind.

‘That’s very noble of you, Rye.’ The colour rose even higher in her cheeks. ‘When you know perfectly well how hard it is for me to resist you.’ She didn’t sound pleased but the admission made the heat in his groin pulse harder nonetheless.

‘So what’s the problem, then?’ he asked.

Her gaze fixed on his, the depth of feeling sending a ripple of unease through his arousal.

‘This isn’t a casual fling any more,’ she murmured. ‘Not for me. And it hasn’t been for a while.’ The softly spoken

words were followed by a resigned sigh. ‘I really did miss you. I missed you a lot. And that scares me.’

The brutal honesty of the statement struck him first. One of the qualities that had endeared her to him right from the start was her refreshing lack of guile. She had no secrets, no subterfuge. Unlike all the other women he’d ever dated. Maybe it was for that reason that he felt the need to be honest back. Surely he owed her that much. He knew that they had no future in the long-term. He would never be able to make the sort of commitment that would lead to the kind of life his friends Zack and Kate led. But Maddy wasn’t asking him for that.

‘Maddy, I missed you too.’ He cupped her cheek, the need to touch her overwhelming him. ‘I didn’t contact you because I thought it would pass. And it felt like crossing a line I had no right to cross. But it didn’t pass. It only got stronger. Which is why I crossed that line and invited you here.’ He threaded his fingers into the short cap of hair, rubbed the silky ends between his fingers. ‘I can’t make any promises. And it wouldn’t be fair to you if I did.’ He drew a deep breath. ‘I’ve never had a long-term relationship. And I don’t want one now. But this isn’t casual for me either. Not any more.’ He huffed out a strained laugh. ‘And if that scares you, believe me, it scares me a lot more.’

The minute he’d made the candid admission he flinched. He sounded like a romantic fool. What was he talking about? This affair wasn’t as casual as it had been, but did he really want her to know that?

But then he looked into her face and saw the same uncertainty, the same confusion that he himself was battling and the panic faded. She leant into his palm, covered his hand with hers, the gesture so warm, so giving, so accepting and so like her that the rapid ticks of his heartbeat slowed.

She blinked, the sheen of tears in her eyes dispelled by the quick, flirtatious grin. ‘I really hope you’re not just saying that to get into my knickers?’

He grinned at her as he touched his forehead to hers and caressed her neck. ‘Actually, I didn’t. But if I’d known it was going to help get me into your knickers—’ he paused to curve his other hand around her lower back and slip his fingers beneath the waistband of her jeans ‘—I would have said it a lot sooner.’

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