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I’M BUSY.
Doing wot? Sucking off Super Nanny?
The crude suggestion was accompanied by a grinning devil emoji.
Lizzie gritted her teeth as anger flared. Carly would never understand what a sweet and genuinely nice guy Trey was. Inked arse, dopey polo shirts and all. Because her BFF thought ‘sweet’ and ‘nice’ were for lame, uncool people who didn’t matter.
To think she’d once bought into that bullshit, too, and sucked up to bitches like Carly.
But the past week and a half had given her the major kick up the arse she needed. Hating yourself and the way you behaved wasn’t enough, you had to make the effort to change. And that meant ditching Carly.
Why don’t u grow up? She tapped out the reply and sent it.
The response came back moments later.
FU loser. Your just a begfriend anyway.
Lizzie switched off the phone and dumped it on the counter.
Carly would slag her off to everyone now. A few weeks ago the thought of losing all her cool points would have paralysed her with fear. But she actually wasn’t that bothered. Turned out there were a lot worse things than losing all your cool points to a bunch of wankers.
Hearing Trey’s heavy tread coming down the stairs, she busied herself pouring boiling water over the teabags she’d dumped into her mother’s treasured Clarice Cliff teapot.
He entered the room and sat down heavily on her mum’s new sofa in the window alcove. He ran his fingers through his hair, sending the short strands into haphazard tufts, lines of fatigue bracketing his mouth.
‘Did Aldo go to sleep?’ she asked.
‘Yeah, he’s knackered.’ Trey sent her a weary half-smile. ‘So knackered, in fact, he nodded off during the bit where Cedric Diggory gets killed in the maze.’
‘You look pretty knackered yourself.’ She placed a couple of mugs on the countertop. ‘I’ve made a pot of tea, if you fancy a cup.’
‘Thanks, milk, no sugar.’
She prepared their tea in silence. Realising how strange it was she didn’t even know how he took his tea, and yet he had come to mean so much to her.
Sitting down on the sofa next to him, she handed him the cup. His fingers butted hers as he took it. ‘Listen, thanks for coming today.’ His thumb touched hers.
‘You’re welcome,’ she murmured.
He lifted the cup and took a swallow, then let out a breath. ‘I didn’t know how much I needed a friend there, until you two arrived.’
She blew on her own tea, sipped it, watching him as he leaned back into the sofa’s comfy cushions. And shut his eyes.
‘Was it awful?’ she asked. Not knowing what else to say.
He opened his eyes and watched her for a moment, the awareness pulsing between them. Then shook his head as he straightened to place his cup on the floor. ‘Actually, no, it wasn’t. It was kind of peaceful, but …’ He paused, his jaw tensing, as he rubbed open palms down his face. ‘It wasn’t how I thought it would be, either.’
‘Why not?’
She could see guilt, and regret. She wondered what he could possibly have to feel guilty about.
‘I’ve wanted her to die for months now,’ he said so softly she almost couldn’t hear him. ‘Prayed for it to happen, because I can’t even remember what she used to be like, before she got sick. It’s like she hasn’t been my mum for a long time. But I thought I’d be glad when she’d gone. And I’m not. I’ve been such a selfish bastard.’
She placed her hand on his leg, stroked the rigid muscles, the urge to comfort quick and instinctive. ‘It’s not selfish to want her suffering to stop.’
He drew absent circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. ‘It would be nice if that was the reason. But it’s not. I wanted her to die so I could be free of her.’
Lizzie touched his cheek and waited for his gaze to meet hers.
