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Not to mention every cliché in the book How to Schmooze the Paying Customer for Dummies, Halle thought. Surely the man had to be a charlatan, because he was oozing enough oily charm to rival the Deepwater Horizon slick.
‘And how are you doing, ma’am? I’ve got to say I’m thrilled to meet the great Halle Best. Nora and I love your show. We catch it every chance we get on our local PBS channel.’
‘How wonderful.’ She smiled graciously, trying not to let her irritation show. ‘I’m equally thrilled to discover my little ole recipes are bringing in new fans across the pond.’
Monroe chortled amiably while placing his meaty forearms on the desk. ‘I hope you’re as happy as Luke is with our amenities,’ he added, boldly fishing for more compliments.
It was the cue she’d been waiting for. For four hours.
While feeling increasingly annoyed with herself, and Luke.
She’d had a cold shower after her vision on the porch, only to walk into the kitchen to find Luke scoffing down one of the hot buttered blueberry muffins that had been delivered to the cabin for their breakfast. Her gaze had become riveted to the strong column of his throat, his Adam’s apple bobbing every time he swallowed.
She’d mentioned the sleeping arrangements and told him, as nonchalantly as possible, that she had assumed she’d have her own private, individual cabin.
He’d laughed and said, ‘The cover won’t work if we don’t bunk together. So I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. Don’t worry, I’ll do my best to keep my hands off you.’ Clearly thinking he was being amusing and ironic.
So she’d been forced to drop the subject.
But she still wasn’t comfortable with the situation. At all. Spending two weeks waking up to Luke in her kitchen was bad enough, but she definitely didn’t want any more pornographic visions of the man screwing with her me time.
‘Actually, there is a slight problem with the accommodation,’ she began, launching into the strategy she’d hit on to distance herself from Luke, without technically reneging on their agreement. ‘For me at least.’
Monroe’s smile stretched across his ruddy face, revealing a hint of startlingly white teeth for a man in his sixties. ‘I’m real sorry to hear that, Halle. Let me know what it is and we’ll get it fixed.’
‘I’m afraid I need a cabin with Wi-Fi and phone coverage. So I can keep in touch with my children. And I’ve got work commitments. Luke’s obviously comfortable where he is. But if I could move, that would be great.’
The jovial smile crinkled at the edges, as if Monroe was having trouble processing the information. ‘Well, now. That would be possible if we had Wi-Fi and phone coverage at the resort. But we don’t. We don’t want our clients distracted during their time here.’
‘But … That’s … Really?’
Who the hell stays at this resort? The Flintstones?
‘You see, Halle, you’re here to mend your relationship with Luke.’ He linked his fingers together on the desk, the condescension almost as aggravating as the faux sympathy in those shrewd grey eyes. ‘We’ve got a schedule of activities for y’all that will get you rebuilding that all-important trust between you. But your downtime between activities is your quality time, when you’re gonna be reconnecting in the comfort and intimacy of your cabin.’ His eyes became rheumy, as if he were having a religious experience. ‘And that’s the unique bedrock of the experience we offer here. So there’s no cable, no TV, no internet and no cell phones. Now, you’re more than welcome to come over to the lobby area to call your children.’ He settled into his chair, his considerable bulk spilling over the arms like Jabba the Hutt. ‘But we ask our clients to put aside their work commitments while they’re here. So they can concentrate on the much more important work of repairing their marriages. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to get distracted from that.’
Actually, I really would.
‘But I’m not married to Luke,’ she protested. If the truth didn’t work with Luke’s cover story, tough.
And she never actually had been married to him, but she decided not to mention that and get drawn into a lengthy debate about why she had decided to use Luke’s last name. Because she had the sneaking suspicion Grandpa Walton here would be less than receptive to the argument that the Best name had become an important part of her brand.
‘We’re not even a couple. So we don’t actually have a relationship to repair, now do we?’ she finished.
He placed his hands on the desk with an audible thump. ‘I know that, honey,’ he said, smothering her objections with another huge helping of condescension. ‘Luke here has apprised me of your situation. And while he may not be your husband any more, he surely is the father of your child.’
‘He’s only the father of one of my children,’ Halle cut in, getting desperate.
‘That’s as may be,’ Monroe continued, the tone still gratingly patriarchal. ‘But Luke has told me all about how your daughter, Elizabeth, is struggling to find her place in the world during her difficult teenage years, and how she needs both her parents working together to help her do that.’
Halle shot Luke a stunned glare, irritation morphing into horrified shock.
What had he said to this patronising twat about Lizzie? Was he planning to use their daughter to sell his article?
Luke glared back, sending her a what-the-hell-are-you-playing-at look.
‘Isn’t that right, Luke?’ Monroe interrupted their glare-off.
‘Yes, Jake, it is,’ Luke agreed, slathering butter as he went like a greased slug. ‘Lizzie needs us to work together now. Which is why Halle and I are both here.’ The muscles in his jaw clenched as he shot her another cautionary glare. ‘And I’m sure it’s going to make a terrific human interest story when we’re through.’
