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He couldn’t imagine her with tons of make-up on. She’d had a little on at the wedding, but she had none on today, and she didn’t need it. The colour of her eyes, so striking against her pale skin, her high cheekbones and those plump kissable lips. It would be a crime to plaster loads of paint on such a fresh, beautiful face. She swiped her hair behind her ear in a natural, unaffected gesture, the sunlight catching the gold in her hair. Did she have any notion at all how gorgeous she was?
He gripped her hand harder. ‘Go on.’
‘Tony was there with a couple of his mates. They were all city-boy types, you know, designer suits, high spirits, full of themselves.’
He could imagine. The bastards had seen two young girls and found a way to take advantage of them. The world was full of users, and the worst were often the best dressed.
‘They offered to take us into the movie. Candice and I were really flattered. We thought we must look very sophisticated, to attract grown men. Tony bought me popcorn and Coke and p
ut his arm round me. By the time the film was over I hadn’t seen any of it. And I was already halfway in love with him.’
She gave a self-deprecating laugh, but it sounded unbearably sad to him.
‘I gave him my phone number, because he asked. And over the next few weeks I fell for him hook, line and sinker. He took me to dinner at a swanky restaurant in Mayfair. We went for walks in the park. He bought me champagne, and flowers, and we chatted about everything. He seemed interested in what I had to say and I was pathetically pleased with all the attention. So when he asked if I wanted to go back to his place in the Barbican one Saturday, I said yes.’
Mac’s gut tightened; he didn’t want to hear the rest of this. But he had to know now. He’d happily kill the bastard, just out of principle. But he had a sick feeling in his stomach that he hadn’t heard the worst of it.
‘When we got to his place, he said all this stuff about how much he wanted me, how incredible I was, how he’d never met anyone like me before. And then, he…’ She turned to look at him and for a second he could see the anguish in her eyes before she banked it. ‘I was a virgin and it hurt. A lot. He wasn’t anywhere near as gentle as you were—and he was annoyed with me for making such a fuss. He told me to come back when I’d grown up. And that’s why I didn’t want to do it again. For quite a long time.’ She said it matter-of-factly, as if it had happened to someone else.
She shrugged and looked away, the movement so defeated, his stomach ached.
‘So now you know what a silly, naÏve fool I was.’
‘Don’t say that.’ The words were tight, laced with anger.
Juno turned, stunned to see the barely leashed fury in his face. ‘What’s the matter?’
He tugged her towards him, rested his hands on her waist. ‘Don’t say that. Don’t even think it.’ His eyes searched her face, the deep blue turbulent with emotion. ‘You were a child. He knew that and he exploited it.’ He held her head, rubbing his thumb across her temple in one slow, gentle stroke. ‘Don’t ever think it was your fault.’
She shouldn’t want his sympathy. His support. His opinion didn’t matter. But his words, so forceful, so full of fury on her behalf, made the knot of shame lodged inside her for so long release. And the brutalised child she’d once been was so grateful, the tears clogged her throat.
‘Come here,’ he murmured as he laid her head against his chest. His open palm caressed her hair, rubbed her back. ‘Don’t cry, darlin’. He doesn’t deserve a single one of your tears.’
They stood together for a long time as she held on to him, breathing in the comforting scent of clean cotton and sea air and listening to the soft rhythmic crash of the surf on the shore and the sure, solid beat of his heart.
She had the sudden urge to tell him the rest, to tell him all of it. The real horror of what had happened six years ago. But she clenched her teeth and stifled the childish urge to confide more. She’d told him too much already.
Just because he hadn’t judged her. Just because he’d been sweet and sympathetic and surprisingly supportive. Just because he was a kinder man than she’d ever thought possible, didn’t mean he could ever be the man for her. This didn’t change a thing between them.
He lifted her chin. ‘You okay now?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Good.’ He took her hand in his and squeezed hard. ‘So how does a chocolate sundae with hot fudge sauce sound?’
‘Wonderful,’ she said as she squeezed back and willed herself not to care that he’d changed the subject.
But however hard she tried, she couldn’t forget how good it had felt to have him hold her when she’d needed it most.
Great going, pal. You just shot yourself in the foot.
Sure, he didn’t feel responsible any more, or guilty, or fascinated. After what she’d told him. After the way she’d stood so bravely in his arms, stifling her tears, what he felt was involved. And it bothered him. A lot.
As they rounded the rocks and set out across the public beach towards his favourite ice-cream stand Mac tried to concentrate on chocolate sundaes and hot fudge sauce and licking them off Juno’s naked breasts.
He refused to dwell on all the conflicting emotions currently churning in his gut and making his heart lurch into his throat.
He only had one thing to offer her. And that was two weeks of no-strings sex.
