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That wasn’t going to happen. Just because he’d made love to her last night as if he couldn’t do without her. Just because she’d seen the astonishment on his face when Mia had given him a spontaneous hug after blowing out her candles. Just because she’d noticed that strangely unguarded look in his eye when he’d walked into the house with Maddy an hour ago. Just because he appeared to have spoken to his sister as she had suggested.
It did not mean a single thing.
Sex was what they did best. So of course the physical connection would be heightened on their last night together. She’d found a kindred spirit in Maddy—and she’d hit it off with Rye and Mia too—so why wouldn’t she be a little emotional knowing she would never see them again?
This had nothing to do with Cal. Or the idiotic hope that had blossomed inside her during the children’s party, and afterwards while they’d said goodbye to Maddy and her family, that there might be a chance they could continue their affair.
No way was she holding her breath, waiting for him to suggest they see each other again. She didn’t wait for guys to ask her out. She did the asking if she wanted. And she didn’t. All this weekend had proved was that she’d allowed herself to become addicted to Callum Westmore. His skill and stamina in bed were phenomenal so that was no big surprise. He was going to be a hard act to follow.
No pun intended.
A weak smile curved her lips as she heard him shift down to take another tight bend.
Okay, maybe she’d also discovered a depth to him, an emotional integrity she certainly hadn’t expected. And a surprising vulnerability behind that controlled exterior. But that didn’t make them any more compatible than they had been two days ago… Cal wasn’t looking for love, or commitment. He didn’t trust it. And she couldn’t change that.
‘Do you mind if I have a nap?’ she asked, suddenly desperate for the oblivion of sleep. She wanted the treacherous thoughts to stop jumping around in her head. The pointless yearning to stop tugging at her heart.
‘Sure, go ahead.’
She heard the frown in his voice, but couldn’t look at him.
Letting her mind drift off, she prayed that she’d be able to stay in a coma for the rest of the six-hour drive. Foolish tears stung her eyes and she gulped them down ruthlessly.
Get real, Ruby Delisantro. Remember, you don’t want what Maddy and Rye have. Not yet. You’re not ready. And you’d certainly never find it with a man like Callum Westmore.
But as her mind eventually clicked off, and she fell into an exhausted sleep, she couldn’t seem to recall all the very good reasons why.
Cal merged the car into the traffic on the M5 and pressed his foot to the floor. He wanted to get this damn drive over with as fast as possible. If Ruby stayed asleep long enough, he might have some hope of getting them both back to London and bidding her goodbye before he did something really stupid.
He and Ruby did not have a future together. Even in the short term. So this was where their affair had to end.
Sure Ruby had made him see things he should have seen years ago. And maybe their relationship had grown more intense than he would usually have allowed. He admired her zeal and her tenacity, her capable mind and her refusal to back down. But none of that was important. Not in the long run. Because he didn’t want permanent in his life. And Ruby was the sort of woman who, when she finally chose to commit, would do it without holding back. She had a big heart beneath that supersexy exterior—she would want love as well as passion and that was something he didn’t have it in him to give her.
This weekend, his whole life had shifted on its axis. He’d been forced to face the truth about himself and his past and the experience had left him emotionally raw in a way he wasn’t used to. No wonder he was behaving irrationally.
He caught a whiff of the sultry vanilla scent that permeated the car. Something about this woman had the ability to drive him crazy—she shouldn’t have a hold on him, and yet somehow she did.
The only way to stop this madness was to let her go. But as the powerful sports car ate up the miles, bringing them closer and closer to London, he could literally feel his resolve ebbing away, like water from a leaky dam… until the only barrier that was left was pride. He couldn’t ask Ruby to continue their affair, because it would give her too much power over him. And she had far too much already.
But if she asked him first, or at least gave him an indication that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Then he’d be able to set the terms. And risk taking her back into his bed, for a little while longer.
‘How about I carry the bag up for you?’ Cal said as he lifted Ruby’s leather holdall out of the car and slammed the boot.
Ruby’s heartbeat skittered, but then she spotted the car keys dangling from his finger. He was offering to carry her bag. He wasn’t offering anything else.
‘No need, I’ve got it from here.’ She grasped the handle, careful not to let her fingers touch his, and took the bag. Sweeping her hair back from her face, she sent him what she hoped was a detached smile. Not easy with her heart battering her chest. ‘It’s been fun, Cal. But I’m shattered.’
She turned away, the sting of tears perilously close. She’d have to kill herself if he saw her cry, so she picked up the pace. The sooner she was on her own, the better, then she could snap out of this damn silly mood she seemed to be in.
‘Hang on. Don’t I even rate a goodbye kiss?’ he shouted after her. The statement sounded stiff, gruff, with none of his usual relaxed charm. Her heart careered painfully into her chest wall and the blockage in her throat grew.
She stopped and spun round. The sight of his long, muscular body spotlit by the street light as he leaned against the polished wing of the sports car made the dragging feeling in her belly twist into a knot.
‘I’ll pass, thanks.’ The tight smile on her lips felt as if it had been carved in stone. She touched her fingertips to her cheek. ‘I don’t want to risk another whisker burn.’
She stood transfixed by the brittle green glitter in his eyes as he watched her for what seemed like an eternity. Her throat hurt with the struggle to stem the tears, her knuckles whitening on the handle of the bag as she tried to hold back the foolish spurt of hope that had refused to die throughout the endless journey home—during most of which she’d pretended to be fast asleep.
The distant sound of a siren wailed, cutting through the tension like a blade. He shrugged. ‘Fair enough.’ Pushing away from the car, he flipped the keys up and caught them in his palm. Then sent her a mocking salute. ‘See you round, Ruby.’
