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“I was protecting myself...” he said. “Not you. I called you a spoiled brat. I slapped you down. I...”
“Because you were cornered, Jared. And at that moment I was being a spoiled brat. I didn’t understand what that connection was then, but I do now.” She cradled his face and kissed him with all the love in her heart, then whispered against his lips, “I wasn’t mature enough to love you then, but I am now.”
He eased her back, the torment in his eyes tempered by need.
“I want to love you,” he said. “But what if I’m not capable of love?”
She could hear his fear and suddenly she knew that a part of the young boy who had seen the best day of his life turn into the worst still lurked inside him. That he was scared to grab the golden ring in case it turned to dust in his hands.
But the only way to make the fear go away was by showing him he had the power to defeat it.
“Don’t you see? Just wanting to love me is enough,” she said. “If you’re ready to stop running and try. Are you?”
It was a risky question. Their whole future rested on the answer, but the euphoria and hope built in her chest because she could already see the answer in his eyes as he studied her.
“I’m not sure I have a choice,” he murmured. “Because the one thing I am sure of is I’m not strong enough to walk away from you again.”
The smile spread across her face and filled her heart to bursting. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”
He cupped her cheeks in his palms and rested his forehead on hers as his fingers caressed her nape.
“You do that,” he growled, before cupping the back of her head and bringing her lips to his in a mind-numbing kiss, full of the promise and possibility of bone-deep yearning and unconditional love.
EPILOGUE
“WHAT’S GOING ON down there?” Jared squinted, the light from the early-evening sunshine making it hard to focus on Katherine and her sister who stood on the pool terrace below the De Rossis’ villa on Isadora.
But something was going on, because Katherine had just wrapped her arms around Megan. And was hugging her hard enough to bruise.
He’d been on the island for a couple of hours, having arrived by helicopter that afternoon from a conference he’d been attending in Rome. But, after a brief kiss when he’d arrived, Katherine had been busy helping Megan put the kids to bed and he’d been trapped helping out Dario on the outdoor grill.
He’d been waiting for Dario finally to ask him what he guessed his friend had wanted to ask him for months now. What the heck did he think he was doing dating his sister-in-law?
Because Dario knew what Jared had been and what he was capable of. And Dario must have serious doubts, because he still had serious doubts himself. Not what he was doing with Katherine, but what the heck she was doing with him.
She was beautiful, talented and smart. But, more than that, she was the center of his universe—had been for twelve months now. Twelve months which had gone by in a flash of color and light and sensation—of long, hot nights, and short, contented days whenever the two of them could get away. He from the demands of his business, and she from her growing career as an artist.
But Dario had kept silent, talking about pretty much everything but the huge elephant between them that now felt as if it were sitting in the pit of Jared’s stomach.
Dario glanced up from flipping lamb steaks on the grill like a pro—and grinned as he directed his gaze to the terrace below. “I expect she is telling Katie our news.”
“What news?” Jared asked.
He’d been desperate to see Katie. They’d been apart for three days and the hunger for her that never eased was stronger than ever—but he knew it would be hours before he could touch her again.
Katherine had moved in with him six months ago at his insistence. So he knew this reckoning was long overdue—but he had an answer ready for when Dario finally came at him.
He loved Katherine. She’d brought something into his life that he thought he could never have, could never deserve. Not just great sex, and lots of it, but stability and companionship. He’d never realized how lonely he was until he’d had her waiting in his loft apartment when he got home in the evening. Usually she was wearing one of his old shirts, her hair and arms covered in flecks of paint as she finished off some commission or one of the pieces for another of her shows.
Maybe he owed Dario his life. But he didn’t owe the guy his happiness. Or Katherine’s. And she was happy. He’d made sure of it.
He’d wanted to push for more now for a while. Wanted to ask Katherine to marry him. He wanted his ring on her finger. But he hadn’t brought the subject up because he didn’t know what the heck to say. How even to get it said. He wasn’t a romantic guy and, every time he tried to get his head around how to make the proposal, it started to hurt. And he knew the truth was, it had nothing to do with the logistics of a proposal—how hard could that be? A good wine? A nice location? Make yourself look like a jerk? Job done.
What really made his head ache and his heart hurt was the thought that if he pushed, if he asked for that one more thing, that ultimate commitment, the dream state he’d been living in for a year would dissolve in front of him and turn out to be exactly that—nothing more than a dream.
He’d even spoken to the damn therapist about it. The woman Katherine had found and eventually badgered him into seeing—which had helped with the nightmares.
Dr. Carlton had told him the fear of rejection was in his head, part and parcel of the baggage he’d been carrying for years from his childhood abuse. Baggage that he was finally starting to shed with her help, and Katherine’s. But it seemed neither one of them could help him with this. Because every time he thought of going down on one knee, of asking Katherine to be his forever, that little kid who’d sat terrified and alone waiting for the axe to fall lurched out of hiding.
