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Elodie scrunched up her face, looking away from a moment as she steadied her breath. “I wish I’d…”
He interrupted her with a guttural noise of rejection. “There is no sense wishing.”
She nodded, her eyes awash with emotion. “I know. I can’t help it.”
Her regret did something strange to him. Anger that had lodged like a stone in his chest the day he’d discovered Jack was shifting, morphing. He ignored that, unable to contemplate it. He simply needed to explain – she deserved to know the truth about his marriage, about Alison, about everything.
“Our break up was amicable. We both knew it made sense; it was the right
thing to do. We retained lawyers as a matter of form, more to handle the administration of it all. I ensured she had a generous payout – it seemed like the least I could do. The hardest battle was ensuring she would accept it.” He grimaced. “A month after we filed the papers, she told me she’d met someone else.”
“Oh?” Elodie lifted one brow inquiringly.
“Her divorce lawyer,” Fiero laughed, and it felt good, the relief welcome after such darkness and pain. “Bram Carlisle of Carlisle, Duggan and Duggan.”
“I’m happy for her,” she said, the words ringing with authenticity.
“Yes. She is with someone who deserves her,” he quipped, but Elodie shook her head, a frown on her beautiful, cupid’s bow lips.
“You shouldn’t do that. You deserved her. This wasn’t your fault.”
He listened to her but didn’t quite believe what she was saying. “I should have found a way to help her that didn’t involve getting married. I didn’t understand how she felt about me, or what she wanted. I didn’t bother to think about that. To me, it was just a business deal, a merger; a way to get her to accept my help.”
“Which speaks volumes about your generosity, nothing else.”
His breath felt ragged in his lungs. “You’re defending my actions?”
“I don’t like the way you’re talking,” she agreed. “You were just trying to help a good friend.” The hand on his chest lifted to his face, curving around his cheek and her eyes bore intently into his. “You lost as much as she did, and more.” She swept her eyes towards the water and her throat moved as she swallowed, hard. “You lost two years of Jack’s life on top of everything else…” her sentence trailed off into nothing.
And what could he say? What could he offer? Nothing. No platitude to brush away her concerns. She was right. He’d lost Andreo, he’d lost Jack’s infancy. If he focussed on that, it hurt like hell.
But she was upset and he hated that, too. He pressed his thumb and forefinger beneath her chin, lifting her face to his once more. “You are an excellent mother. I’m glad Jack has you.”
Her lips parted and his eyes dropped to them on autopilot. It took every single fibre of willpower in his body to resist plundering her mouth with his own, to resist taking comfort in the only way he knew how.
Her breathing was loud, made urgent by their proximity and the awareness they seemed unable to ignore.
“Thank you.”
He didn’t want her gratitude. He didn’t deserve it. For all that she’d wronged him, he’d wronged her too, and he saw that now. Threatening to take Jack away from her when she was just out of her sick bed was a low blow. Even given what was at stake, it had been manifestly unreasonable.
The fact they’d slept together afterwards?
He stifled a groan. She’d been right to bring a halt to their relationship. It was every bit as wrong as his marriage to Alison had been.
He pulled away from Elodie, putting some much needed space between them, forcing a smile to his face. “Bram Carlisle was a widower. He has twin girls – they’d be six now. Alison legally adopted them last year.”
It took Elodie a moment longer to catch up. She stared at him with obvious confusion for a few seconds and then nodded. Slowly, a small smile spread over her face. “I’m truly happy for her.”
“Si.”
“Fiero?” Her frown was back, as was a little divot between her brows. “I know how angry you are with me, and I understand why, I really do. I could apologise until I’m blue in the face and it won’t change anything. But there’s a part of me that’s glad I didn’t tell you about Jack.”
He ignored the whipping sensation against his spine, similarly the cold tendrils wrapping around his heart. “Are you?”
“Can you imagine how Alison would have felt?” Elodie shivered. “It was bad enough to think I might ruin your marriage, but I had no idea what else you’d lost.” Her eyes showed anguish. “To see me pregnant with your child, when you’d been through all that…”
“It would have killed her,” he agreed. “And maybe I’m the most selfish bastard in the world but even that doesn’t change a thing for me. I’d do anything to have been there for Jack, from day one.”
