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Please tell me where you are. It’s important.
She closed her eyes and turned the phone off. It wasn’t the first such message he’d sent. Every day since she’d left he’d tried to make contact. But she couldn’t respond. She wasn’t ready, and she didn’t know what she could say to him – nor what he could say to her.
They’d said it all, really.
He didn’t love her.
She did love him. Fool, fool that she was. Why was she cursed with this feeling? Why couldn’t she unite her head with her heart? She’d loved him once and should have learned from that, but instead she’d jumped right back into the same patterns, the same needs.
No, not quite. She’d been stronger, if only marginally. For a time she’d kept him at a distance this time, against all her own instincts. She thought she was in control, but she hadn’t been. She’d been as beholden to this ridiculous love as she’d been then. Age be damned. It wasn’t because she was only twenty years old anymore.
Damn it.
Why couldn’t she control this? A tear slid down her cheek without her realising it. She continued to stare out at the city and at some point, fell asleep.
She woke in the small hours of the morning with a pain in her neck and a pain in her back. She must have slept awkwardly – hardly surprising given she was sitting in an armchair.
She moved a little, then went to stand, but as she did so, an almighty gush deluged the armchair and the floor at her feet, so in the darkness of the hotel room she had to fumble for a light, a frown on her face as her sleep-fogged mind tried to make sense of what had just happened.
No glasses around. She hadn’t knocked something.
It was her; her waters had broken.
Seconds later, her professional training kicked in. She knew the importance of getting to a hospital immediately. She pressed a button on the nearby phone, dialling down to reception.
“Si, Dottore Anando?” She’d checked in under her maiden name – it still wouldn’t take Massimo long to find her if he bothered to ring around the hotels, but it felt like a small step towards independence. Or perhaps it was just another pointless attempt to remain independent in the face of his magnetic pull?
“I need an ambulance, immediately.”
“We have a doctor on call –,”
“I am a doctor. I need an ambulance.”
She disconnected the call and moved as well as she was able towards the door. She hadn’t packed a bag – this was too early and she’d been too mired in grief and frustration, too lost to be able to think rationally. She needed nothing but to be in the hands of medical experts.
No one was around. The lift was deserted. She emerged into the foyer with no recollection of how she must look – she hadn’t showered in days, she hadn’t put make up on, and a quick glance as she passed a mirror showed her hair was a mess. She didn’t care. She walked slowly towards the reception counter. A young man looked up, startled.
“Dottore Anando? Please, sit down, an ambulance is on its way.”
A contraction burst through her, making it impossible to respond. She dug her fingers into her palms, breathing through it, but every bone in her body told her she had to get to hospital immediately.
“I’ll….wait…outside…” she grunted, pressing a hand to the small of her back and turning in that direction.
“I’ll come with you.” He moved to her side, putting a hand under her elbow in an attempt to help or reassure. Either way, it was welcome.
The night was cool and
crisp; she barely noticed. Another contraction hit her just as the ambulance arrived. She knew it wouldn’t take long for this baby to be delivered.
The lights were wailing as it pulled up at the hotel but they muted the noise as the ambulance came to a stop, so it was only the flashing of the bulbs.
She gave the attending paramedic her details in medical shorthand: her age, the baby’s gestational age, average blood pressure, and the lack of any complicating factors.
The two paramedics helped her onto the stretcher while the young desk clerk watched, worry on his features.
“I need you to call Massimo Montebello,” she said, as they prepared to lift the bed.
“Who?” His eyes were huge, as though he hadn’t heard correctly.
