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“No. You were my wife.”
She rolled her eyes, leaning back a little so she could see his face more clearly. “An odd distinction.” The moon shifted from behind a cloud, highlighting his face in silver light, making shadows and planes of his features. “Did you want to marry her?”
“Who?”
“Elena.” His grip around her waist loosened for a moment but when her eyes flew to his face, there was nothing there to suggest he was emotionally disturbed by her question. “Amit’s mother,” she explained. As though he could have forgotten who she was referring to.
“No.”
Chloe frowned. “You loved her?”
Raffa stopped moving his hips, standing still, holding Chloe to him. “I thought we just discussed this.”
Chloe frowned, her lack of comprehension obvious.
“I do not believe in love, Sheikha. It’s a drug, an addiction that drives people crazy.”
Chloe thought of the rumours about Elena and winced. Was it possible the other woman had lost her mind? That Raffa’s harsh refusal to accept love, even after Elena had borne him a child; his refusal to admit to feeling love, had taken her sanity?
Chloe could almost understand how that might feel.
Were it not for an inner-strength forged by the irons of rejection, she too might have found her husband’
s ability to ignore her too painful to bear.
“She loved you,” Chloe said softly.
He stepped away from her, returning to the table. When he reached for his wine, she saw his fingers weren’t quite steady and his jaw was clenched as though he was grinding his teeth together. “Yes,” he said finally, the word spoken as though it were a hoarse expletive. His eyes latched to hers and there was anger and blame in them. “She loved me.”
“You’re angry.”
With an effort, he schooled his face into a mask of disinterest. “I am not interested in having this discussion,” he corrected. “It serves no purpose to rehash the past.”
“But the past is still in the present,” she said with impeccable logic. “She bore you a son and he lives within the palace walls. He is a young man now, and he needs a father to be a part of his life. How is Amit going to feel when we have a baby? When he is usurped by a child you will acknowledge?”
A muscle jerked in Raffa’s cheek and he spun away, striding to the edge of the parapet, propping his elbows against the wall there, and staring out at the crisp night sky. The moon was splitting the clouds like a beam, and it caused the sand to shimmer like diamonds beneath them.
“Amit is my son,” he said after several beats. “But he will never be Sheikh. He knows this. He understands my need for a legitimate heir.”
Chloe let the words sink in, her mind trying to digest the ramifications of this. “You’ve told him about me, about us?”
“He was at our wedding.”
She shook her head, moving to stand behind him. “I mean that we’re trying to conceive a baby.”
Raffa spun around to face her, his strong, sharp face staring down at her. “As you say, he is growing into a young man. He will no doubt have guessed at the reason for your installation at the palace.”
“God, he must be seriously messed up.”
“On the contrary. He takes after his mother,” he said with a smile that made Chloe’s heart thump painfully in her chest. For there was love in that smile. Love and affection and sweet reminiscences that were utterly distinct from anything her husband had ever shown her.
She had lived her whole life in the shadows of others. Her mother, her father, her brother. And now, her husband’s child’s mother! She couldn’t have said where Elena was, but suddenly, the idea that she might be in the palace, that her husband might still be involved with her, filled Chloe with an icy numbness.
“Eat something, Chloe. If you’re to carry the royal heir, you need to look after yourself.”
And that was what this all boiled down to. Raffa needed an heir, and she was his wife. She was the only one who could provide him with the legitimate child he required. Whatever passion hummed between them, whatever power she had to drive him wild, was contained to a very limited set of circumstances.
She returned the table and did as he said, but the food had lost its flavor and the stars their shimmer.
