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“So don’t resist me.”
“That would be even worse.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
He made a face of agreement.
“I’m not saying we should get married,” she said unsteadily. “I’m surprised you think sex is such a big deal.”
“I’m surprised you think it isn’t,” he countered swiftly.
“I didn’t say that.” Her cheeks grew pink. “I’m sure compared to you I have no experience. In fact, compared to your usual…erm…lover…I’m undoubtedly unqualified and disappointing. So maybe you’re right. We should just forget about this.”
It was the last thing she wanted to do.
“How many men have you been with?”
It was a deeply personal question but it didn’t even occur to Isabella not to answer. They’d crossed some invisible threshold, something between them had changed inexorably.
“Two.” A whisper, embarrassed acknowledgement.
“Two?” He repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. “Only two?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, and everything. I suppose you loved both men
?”
“One of them,” she whispered. “Or thought I did.” But she didn’t want to contemplate Andrew in that moment.
“So why the hell do you want to have sex with me?”
She flinched at his tone and crude description. His fingers on her stomach were so light she could almost believe he’d dropped his hand. She inched forward, so their bodies were pressed more tightly together.
His eyes narrowed warningly. “Not because I’m in love with you,” she said on a soft breath.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“I’ve never met anyone like you,” she said after a moment. “With Ben and Andrew we were friends first. It developed slowly. With you, I feel…I felt, from the moment I got here, like I wanted…”
“Go on,” he demanded, throaty and impatient.
“You,” she finished softly. “I guess you experience this all the time, but I don’t. I’ve never met anyone and just wanted to rip their clothes off.”
His eyes swept shut at her innocent remark, a muscle throbbing at the base of his jaw.
When he opened his eyes, there was something like surrender in their depths, but his face still held a look that was troubled, laced with rejection and cynicism.
“I’ll hurt you.”
“Why?”
“Because it will mean nothing to me. Niente. Is that what you really want?”
She thought about that, and yes, she could see that it would hurt. Despite the fact she didn’t know him and didn’t love him, she wasn’t capable of having sex with a man and not having it mean something. Still, it would hurt her more to walk away from him, and this, so she nodded slowly.
“I don’t care.”
