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Does he feel it?
His hand at my back shifts, just a little, closer towards my arse. I blink up at him and drop his hand, stepping backwards.
He doesn’t feel it. He does this kind of thing all the time, and, even if he didn’t, he learned his lesson from the first and last woman he let himself love.
He’s built a wall around his heart that I don’t think I can chip through.
‘Imogen.’ Orla, one of the club’s Australian members, who I really like, catches me as she passes, oblivious to the explosions that are detonating inside my soul. ‘You’ve outdone yourself.’
I zipper over my heart and take a breath, resuming my usual calm, unflappable exterior. ‘You’re having fun?’
‘Oh, yes.’ It’s slightly breathy. Her eyes shift over me for a second and her cheeks flush. ‘Definitely.’ She puts a manicured hand on my wrist, her eyes shining. ‘I’ve got some ideas for the next Sydney gala. I’ll email you.’
I smile. Life goes on. Things move forward. With or without Nicholas, the club will continue, the membership will grow, the charity will survive. But my heart won’t recover. I have never been in love before, but I don’t think you need to have first-hand experience to know that love has transformative powers.
I love Nicholas, and my life will never be the same after he leaves.
I have to tell him.
Orla slinks off, her beautiful dress caressing her frame. I watch her for a second and then turn back to Nicholas. His grin is pure, devilish playboy.
He doesn’t love me, and all telling him will achieve is a premature end to this.
He won’t take me home tonight; it will be over and I need that not to be the case.
One more night, one more night of fun and sex and pretending this is casual when I know it isn’t. At least, not for me.
‘I have to circulate,’ I say softly.
‘I expected as much.’ But then, leaning even closer, ‘You’re sure you don’t want to try out an Intimate Room? I can get some handcuffs...’
And despite my breaking heart, heat blooms through my body. ‘Later.’
He laughs. ‘Count on it.’
His use of the phrase I utter so often pulls at me, because it is this ph
rase that led him to discover I was Miss Anonymous. Would I take it back if I could? Would I make it so this never happened?
No. Not in a million years. Even as I feel my heart breaking, I know I would never wish we hadn’t shared this. Nicholas has changed me, and I think for the better.
I continue to circulate, brushing past the billionaire property developers Ash Evans and Sebastian Dumont just in time to catch them shaking hands, Ash laughing at something Sebastian’s muttered.
This is what the club promises its members. It’s a safe place to do business, to network and to relax. It’s a safe place but not, as it turns out, for me.
* * *
I run my tongue over his tattoo, hating it in that moment, because I don’t want Nicholas to be his own. I want him to be mine. I flick his hair-roughened nipple, enjoying the feeling of his chest lifting, his breath snagging in his lungs as I move lower. His naked body is tanned against the matte black of his sheets. I kiss my way down his body, tasting his flesh, remembering everything I can about this, taking his hard cock into my mouth, absorbing the guttural oath he spills into the room as I move my mouth up and down, my nipples tingling, heat pooling between my legs.
I will never get sick of this. Him, me, naked. I want this to last for ever.
But it is already approaching dawn, and I hate that. Never have I wanted a night to last longer than I do this night.
I taste a hint of his salty pre-cum and then his hands are under my arms, pulling me up his body, his mouth seeking mine, his frame rolling me, so I’m on my back, his arousal hard between my legs. I arch my back and spread my legs wide, wordlessly begging him to take me, to make love to me, needing his body to console mine in the only way he can.
But he breaks the kiss and reaches across me. I hear a drawer and then something metallic. His hands curve around my wrists; he pulls them to the bedframe and then cold metal surrounds me. I pull on my hands. They’re cuffed to the bed.
I stare up at him, my eyes wide, lips parted.
