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So why deny it? Why not just tell me?
I grip the ticket in my fingertips, holding it tight, as though just by gripping it I can be tethered to reality and earth and life as I once knew it.
‘Baby? Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
His towel is wrapped low around his waist, a crisp white that shows the perfection of his tan and makes me ache for him anew. But desire is pushed to one side in the face of my confusion. Of not knowing.
His eyes fall to my fingertips and I drop the ticket; it flutters to the floor, lying at my feet.
Slowly he walks towards me, his lips a grim slash in his face.
He looks at the ticket, and then at me, and then towards the table, where my note sits like a glaring red light.
Surprise contorts his features briefly, and then he is a picture of control. He is the man I’ve always loved. Unyielding, determined.
Manning Brown-Hadden at his finest.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
‘SO, WHAT…? THIS WAS revenge?’
‘You came to the concert?’ I volley back, my face feeling tight.
His lips turn downwards. ‘Yes.’
‘Why?’ It’s just a whisper. A sound of confusion. ‘Why?’ I ask again—louder, clearer.
‘Why do you think?’ There is a weariness to his confession.
‘I have no clue, Manning. You said you didn’t…’
‘I know.’ A muscle jerks at the base of his jaw, throbbing like the confusion that’s swirling in inside me.
‘You lied to me?’
He dips his head forward. ‘I presumed it would stir things up if you knew.’
‘I don’t understand…’
‘Yes, you do.’ His eyes, when they latch onto mine, are loaded with desperate anguish. ‘Yes, you fucking do.’
And his fingers lace into my hair, pulling me close. He presses his forehead to mine, our breath mingling, our eyes closed.
‘I don’t… You…’
‘I had to see you.’
He cups my cheeks and I open my eyes to find he is staring at me.
‘I can see you from a distance, can’t I? I can want you from afar.’
‘You can see me up close, too,’ I whisper, haunted. ‘You can want me and have me now…’
‘You were about to walk out,’ he says softly. ‘Weren’t you?’
I bite down on my lip, seeing now how juvenile my plan is. Seeing how futile, too, it is to hurt the one you love with such premeditation.
‘I…I was hurt. When you left.’
