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Butterflies beat against her and she hated that. She hated how reliably he could stir her to a response when she wanted to feel nothing for him.
‘What are you doing here?’
There was no point with civility, was there? Perhaps there was, but she couldn’t be bothered. She was tired, so tired.
He didn’t speak though. He stared at her and with every second that passed, her blood moved faster and harder so that it was almost strangling her with its intensity.
‘Your Highness?’ It was like waking him from a dream. He straightened, turning to Zahrah, then back to Daisy.
‘I’d like to speak to you. Is now a good time?’
She startled. His uncertainty was completely unusual. ‘I’m...yes.’ She nodded a little uneasily. ‘I suppose so. Zahrah?’
‘Yes, Your Highness.’ Zahrah bowed low. ‘Would you like any refreshments, sir?’
‘No.’ The word was swift. ‘Thank you.’
Zahrah left, and still Sariq didn’t move. It unsettled Daisy, so she wiped her hands down her front, drawing his gaze to her belly. In the forty days since she’d left the palace, her bump had ‘popped’.
She waited for him to speak but he didn’t and the silence was agonising. So eventually, she snapped. ‘Please tell me why you’re here, Sariq.’
He nodded, moving deeper into the room. ‘I came—’ He shook his head.
‘What is it?’
‘I came because...’
Nothing. She ground her teeth together. ‘What? Is everything okay?’
Emotion, heavy, obvious emotion, moved on his face. ‘No.’ So simple. ‘It’s not.’
Daisy’s heart rate doubled. ‘Why not?’
He stepped towards her, then froze. ‘I came because I couldn’t not.’
‘You’re not making any sense.’
‘I know.’ His throat shifted as he swallowed. ‘I came to apologise, because I cannot live with what I said and I did, with how I made you feel. I came because it occurs to me you’re living here believing that I don’t love you, that I won’t love you, when you were right. I do.’ Again he pulled at his hair, shaking his head, his eyes heavy with his emotions.
Daisy couldn’t move.
‘The night of the ball, when those men were apprehended for what they intended to do to you, I went to see them. I wanted to kill them, Daisy. There was nothing measured or calm in my response. Because of how I feel for you I risked undoing all of my father and grandfather’s work and dissolving our entire legal system so I could take my revenge. Even my father didn’t do this when my mother was murdered.’ He swallowed once more.
Daisy was incapable of speech or movement.
‘Loving you terrifies me because there is no limit to what I would do for you if you asked it of me. If anyone hurt so much as a finger on your hand, I would have the kingdom turn
ed upside down until they were found and brought to justice. I’m terrified that I cannot be what my country needs of me when I feel this way for you.’
A strangled noise escaped Daisy’s throat.
‘But if the last forty days have taught me anything, it’s that I cannot live without you either. Perhaps it’s the smart thing to do, but I cannot be smart if it means losing you. I won’t.’ He crossed the room, lifting her face in his palms, staring down at her with such obvious amazement that her heart turned over as though it were being stitched into a new position. ‘You are so brave. Fearless and strong, courageous, incredible. You faced up to how you felt about me even after what you’ve been through. After what I put you through. You are generous and good and I pushed at you, just like you said, pushing you away, unable to see a middle ground with you. Perhaps there isn’t one. Perhaps loving you will mean I cannot rule as I otherwise might have. I don’t care.’
But a sob burst through her. ‘I care. I won’t have you choose a life with me if you believe it weakens you.’ She lifted a hand to his chest though, softening her statement with a gentle touch. ‘I have too much faith in you for that.’ Her fingers moved gently across the flesh that concealed his heart. ‘You didn’t kill those men. You stayed within the bounds of the law, because you are a good sheikh and an excellent man. You will rule this kingdom with all your goodness, and I will be at your side, making sure of that. I have no intention of being your weakness, Sariq. I want to be your biggest support and your greatest strength. Understood?’
He groaned, shaking his head. ‘How can you be so good to forgive me after what I put you through?’
She bit down on her lip. ‘I didn’t say I’d forgiven you.’
