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of anticipation. It had been the idea of more Guy. More beyond this island trip. Of having longer to convince him. To win him over.
But she never would.
If she accepted his offer, if she let him pay her to be in his bed – which was essentially what he would be doing – then he would never be able to look beyond it.
And he probably couldn’t, even now. They were already trapped in a disaster of their own creation.
But at least now Addie knew the truth. She loved him, and she was here because of that.
We will live in Madrid, I will make sure you have everything you could ever want. I will buy you an apartment of your own. Clothes. Spending money. Believe me, you have never known generosity like what I can offer.
Indignation ripped through her anew as she remembered that last little salvo, intended to be reassuring, which had in fact cemented her hatred. Not for him, but for the way he viewed her. He really thought he could buy her, body and soul.
Admittedly, he was willing to pay handsomely for the pleasure of her body, and she’d tried to take comfort from that, but it had offered none.
Her body?
Sex?
When she wanted his heart and mind? When she wanted it to be like it was in London? How could she live with him once more, knowing that they were forever limited? How could she live with him, waiting for his attention to stray, for his interest to wane, for his sense that she was worth such a heavy price to diminish and for her to be cast aside? Albeit with a nice little stipend…
Sleep on it. Tomorrow is the party. You can tell me then.
He’d been so confident, despite his suggestion that she ruminate on the idea. He had seemed to have little doubt that she would accept.
And, in a part of her mind, she knew that to be the case. She was crazy to turn this down. She was crazy to say ‘no’, knowing that it would probably be the death knell to any future with Guy.
But she had to.
She had to tell him she loved him. That she couldn’t accept a relationship with him in which he would hold all the cards; she couldn’t accept a relationship with him that was so completely unequal.
With a sense of the axe dropping to her neck, she pulled the door to her bedroom open, her heart pounding as she went in search of him. The yacht, though, was deserted, save for a couple of crew who were restocking the fridge and changing linen.
Addie had thought she’d never get used to this – to the sense of seeing staff and not really noticing them, but it had taken only days in the end.
She made a point of smiling and greeting them as she continued searching for Guy.
“Excuse me,” she asked one of the crew, a young woman with bright blonde hair and a neat uniform. “Do you know where Guillem is?”
“Ah, yes, madam. He is at the house,” she pointed towards Santiago’s, her accent thick. “I can drive you?”
“No, no,” Addie shook her head, unsure now of what she should do. She needed time and space to clear her head, to get to grips with what she was doing. “I’ll walk.”
Yes! A walk would clear her head and help her think. At least, that was the hope.
“You’re sure? It is a hot day?”
“That’s fine,” she said, her smile confident now, as she firmed on the plan. It couldn’t be more than two miles, and she could work on her tan as she went.
Decision made, she went back to her room and changed into a bikini and a pair of denim cut-off shorts and a large yellow shirt that hung loose over one shoulder. She grabbed a wide-brimmed sunhat as she left the room – a bit of gold on her arms and legs was one thing, but she’d never liked the feeling of the sun on her face.
About a mile into the walk, she began to question the wisdom of her decision.
The sun was right overhead, the temperature high, and there was barely a breeze. The house still looked to be forever away, though she could see the clearing that would lead to the steps which would, eventually, take her to the garden at the front of the house. A garden she just hoped had a way of accessing the deck – she’d never approached it from this direction and couldn’t remember noticing any access points.
She stripped out of her shirt and shorts and ran towards the water, her smile widening as she felt the first, welcome burst of cool on her ankles. She was more miserable than she’d been in a long time, and yet the simple act of immersing herself in the ocean had a strangely jubilant effect. A sense of happiness she hadn’t expected flooded her and she lay on her back, staring up at the sky, wondering if she was overthinking everything.
She wasn’t, though.
