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“I don’t hate you.”
She grimaced. “My heart was alre
ady broken when I met you and then I fell in love and I felt whole for the first time in a long time and you took that all away.” To emphasise her point, she dashed away her tears. “I’ve had enough pain to last a lifetime. You were my refuge from that, but you’re not now.”
She cleared her throat. “Thank you for coming here, for offering to help.” The words were said with an attempt at professionalism that was belied by her inability to meet his eyes. “But I returned the cheque to underscore the fact that we are over.”
“We’re not over, querida.”
Her eyes lanced him with their fury. “Don’t call me that. I’m not your dear. Your darling.”
“You are my everything,” he promised swiftly.
“And you are my agony.”
He groaned, pressing his head forward, his brow touching hers. She didn’t immediately move. He breathed her in, and he ached to kiss her, but he didn’t. “Tell me you don’t love me.”
Addie startled; he felt it.
“Tell me now that you no longer love me.”
Addie’s eyes fluttered shut. “I’m not like you,” she said defensively. “I can’t just switch my feelings on and off.”
“Nor can I, believe me,” he promised throatily.
“I’ve loved you almost a year,” she said with a shake of her head. “I hope one day I won’t, but I have no idea - I’ve never been in love before.” She cleared her throat, the hopelessness of her feelings vibrating deep in her gut. “But I know I can’t be with you.”
“Can you not be with me?” He asked gently. “Can you really live without what we are? Is that what you want?”
“Don’t.” It was a whispered plea. “Don’t make this about what I want.”
“Why not? Don’t you think it matters?”
She jerked her head upwards. “I want,” the word was angry. “To take away all the pain we’ve caused each other. I want to go back to what we were in London, where it was simple and I was so full of love that I felt like I was going to explode. But wanting something doesn’t make it so.”
“Why not?” He grabbed her arms and pulled her to him, and the look in his face was so full of warmth and strength that some of it flowed into her ice-cold body. “I love you and you love me, and I want, more than anything, everything you’ve just described. I am sorry for everything, Addie. Everything. You do not need to fear I will forget what this feels like – nor that I will ever risk hurting you again. Knowing what I have done to you, remembering the things I have said, the words I have thrown at you…” He paled before her. “I am sickened and disgusted by how I treated you. All the time I fought you, I fought what I felt, and I knew I was ruining it, but I didn’t seem able to stop. I will never forget the hurt I have seen in your eyes, and the knowledge that I was the instrument of it. I will spend my life making sure you are never hurt again. With my dying breath I will protect and honor you. With all that I am I will serve you and love you and build you up. I will believe you.”
She bit back a sob.
“I will believe you unstintingly. I will be your biggest champion and friend. I will be your husband, the father of your children, and your best friend. If you will only say ‘yes’.”
But Addie shook her head, uncertainty and doubt tumbling through her, even when she knew that he was offering what she needed. “I’ve been so miserable,” she whispered.
“Me too, querida.”
At her look of displeasure he said urgently, “You are my darling, my dear, my heart, my breath. I am incomplete without you. You are not Ava Peters, you are Adeline Scott, but if I have my wish, you will be Addie Rodriguez as soon as we can arrange it. You are my querida, my darling, my dear, no matter what you say. I will always love you.”
Addie’s eyes narrowed and her heart tripped.
“I will always love you,” he repeated emphatically, desperately, urgently.
Addie bit down on her lower lip, her world tilting strangely so that she felt her balance was leaving her, but inside, she was smiling, her heart shining. The tug between brain and blind faith was one her heart had every intention of winning.
She eyed him thoughtfully, and he pressed his forehead to hers. “Please, Addie. I am well aware that I do not deserve you, but I am begging you to let me stay, to be a part of your life. Let me love you as I should have loved you all alone. Let me start now, to make up for the pain I have caused you.”
She sucked in a shaking breath.
“If you give me a chance, I will fix this. I will make you happier than you ever thought possible.”
