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‘She’s remarried. He has kids. They do a big family thing.’
‘That’s so sad.’
‘Why?’ He looks genuinely perplexed. ‘It’s just another day, Jessica.’
‘How can you say that? It’s Christmas.’
‘And I hate it.’ He uses the same tone I did. ‘Now, loosen your grip a bit.’
I make an exaggerated sighing noise but drop the camera a bit lower. He groans in frustration. ‘You’re really choosing a bath and work over me?’
I blow him a kiss. ‘Yep. I’m sure you’re not used to hearing “no” very often but I’m afraid that’s what I’m saying.’
He clutches his chest in a wounded gesture.
‘What about when you were a kid?’ I push. ‘What did you do for Christmas then?’
He sighs. ‘You really want to hear about this?’
‘Sure. Why not?’
‘Give me a second.’ I watch as he walks through his place. The night sky appears above his head and then the phone is placed down so the sky is all I can see. A short while later he’s back in shot, his torso naked, a glass of something that looks like Scotch in hand. I watch as he steps in the water.
‘That’s better. Now we’re both all wet.’
I feel jealous. Now I feel as if I’d give just about anything to be in the pool with him. His double entendre does what he clearly intended and sends a zing of need spiralling through me.
‘Christmas, when I was a kid.’ He props the phone against something so his hands are free. I have a full view of his face and torso. I watch the movement of his chest muscles as he shifts, running his fingertips over the water’s surface. ‘Money was tight for us, so it wasn’t like we were spoiled with gifts or anything.’
I lean forward a little, the sincerity in his voice pulling at something in my chest.
‘But Mum tried really hard to make it special. She always made sure we had something beneath the tree, not to mention the gift Father Christmas would bring.’ He grins and my heart twists—he’s way too gorgeous. ‘We’d go to church, have lunch together, then a phone conversation with my grandparents—they lived in another state and we didn’t see them often. There were little traditions, things I took for granted because I was just a kid.’ He grimaces.
I search for something to say, reaching for the champagne and taking a sip.
‘And at ten we came to live with Dad and his wife, Chao-Xing.’ Something tightens in his face, his smile looks a little heavier. ‘She wanted to make Christmas magical for us, like something out of a movie, so really went to town with decorations and presents.’ He shakes his head.
‘The dichotomy of that must have been unnerving.’
‘We were ten—and the living epitome of not looking a gift horse in the mouth. We just loved the presents.’ But I can see more in his eyes, even like this, separated by two screens and miles of sky.
‘As you got older, then?’ I prompt, instinctively knowing there’s more to it.
‘Yeah, as we got older, we found it hard. I mean, before that our mum struggled. She could barely make ends meet, and we grew like weeds, always needed new shoes and clothes. We did a thousand and one sports and she never told us it was too expensive, that she couldn’t afford the equipment. She worked hard to be able to give us what we needed and we just...took it for granted.’
‘That’s very normal for kids, Zach.’
‘Yeah.’ His voice is gruff. I hear the self-condemnation there.
‘Your dad didn’t...’
‘Support her?’ He finishes for me, his voice darkening. ‘No.’
I feel everything he’s not saying. I tell myself not to ask, that knowing this isn’t part of our contract, it’s not part of our deal. But despite that, I say, ‘Why not?’
If he’s surprised by the question he doesn’t show it. ‘He just didn’t think about her. My dad was selfish. Mum was just some woman he’d banged years ago. We were her kids, not his.’
‘So he wasn’t in your life?’
