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‘Of course you can,’ Annie soothes, moving across to me, putting a hand around the Scotch glass and holding it. ‘How about a coffee?’
If it were anyone else, I might snap that I don’t want a damned coffee, but Annie is so sweet and I’ve known her so long, and she is clearly worried about me, so I nod once. ‘Fine.’ Dimitrios clears his throat, his expression stern. ‘Thank you,’ I add, closing my eyes.
Why did I come here?
Annie smiles at me, putting a hand on my shoulder. ‘I’ll just be a minute.’
She leaves the room so Dimitrios and I are alone.
‘Out with it.’
Just the two of us, he doesn’t pull any
punches. I stare at him, lost for words. All day—all fucking day—I’ve tried to see my way through this. Knowing Jessica is across the city and I can’t see her—for her sake—has been like a knife in the gut. This isn’t about sex. I’m not that much of an idiot. If I felt less for her then I’d just, I don’t know, either forget about her as she said or try my hardest to seduce her back into my bed where all of this fades into nothing, because nothing matters when we’re together.
But she deserves so much better than that. And I know I can’t forget her. Not easily.
‘You said you were seeing someone,’ he prompts, coming to stand beside me.
I grunt my agreement.
‘And something’s happened with her?’ he asks again, staring at me as though he can find the answers in my face.
I keep my mouth shut.
‘Zach,’ he sighs heavily. ‘You’re my brother and I love you, but if you’ve come here drunk as all hell on Christmas night just to stand there mute and brooding I’m going to have to kick your ass out of here.’
My first reaction is anger but then I look around his perfect living room and feel a twinge of guilt. I know how important it was for him to get this Christmas right. His first with Annie and Max. And here I am, torpedoing his Christmas night. ‘Shit, you’re right. I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have come.’
‘Don’t be stupid. You know you can always come here, but just tell me what’s bothering you. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.’
I feel something groan to a halt inside me, a sense of disbelief. I haven’t needed anyone’s help in a long time but he’s not wrong now. I need help. I don’t understand what to do but I know I can’t leave things like this with Jessica.
‘I’ve been seeing this girl.’
He’s quiet, just nodding softly.
‘We agreed from the outset that it was just going to be casual, just...’
‘Physical,’ he supplies gently.
‘Yes.’ I grind my teeth. ‘But two weeks is a long time. And we spent a lot of time together.’
‘Jesus. Are you trying to tell me you fell in love with her?’ His disbelief is warranted.
‘God, no. Of course not.’ I shake the idea off quickly.
‘Ah.’ He nods thoughtfully. ‘But she has feelings for you. She wants more from you.’
I’ve had too much to drink to think straight. ‘I wanted more from her. I wanted to extend our arrangement but keep it the same. I like the way things were with us, I just wanted more time.’
‘And she didn’t?’
I compress my lips. ‘She wanted the impossible.’
Dimitrios scans my face expectantly.
‘She says she’s in love with me.’ I spit the words with derision but inside I feel bleak.
