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They slid into the backseat of the luxury vehicle, and though Finn should have known better, she continued their kiss. If she didn’t keep going, she knew she would back out.
She couldn’t think about Caradoc. She wanted her body to sing for another man. She wanted to feel something for someone that wasn’t damned Caradoc. She’d had sex with guys before him. She would do so again now.
Anton lived in a luxurious three-story townhouse in Belgravia. It took no time at all for the car to arrive there, and they broke the kiss only until they were inside his downstairs lounge.
His hands fumbled with the straps of her dress and she groaned impatiently before flicking them down. The dress fell lower, and she silently begged him to touch her breasts. To flick her nipples and roll them with his tongue.
But he kissed her instead, gently, his hands now still around her back.
NO, no, no! She was mentally screaming, pushing at his shirt and wanting him with an intensity that was born out of determination rather than lust. She needed now to feel another man, to erase the power Caradoc had over.
“Please, Anton,” she begged, her words thick with need of a different sort. It was a need driven by grief.
He laughed softly. “What’s your rush, Seraphina?”
Her rush? Was he kidding? Didn’t he want this?
“Don’t get me wrong,” he clarified immediately. “This is … something I’ve been hoping for. But we’ve got all night. And many nights after this. You’re acting a little … out of character.”
She blinked, but tears were stinging her eyes. Fuck. She nodded and put a hand on his chest. “I’m sorry.” She squeezed her eyes shut again. “I … you’re right. You’re totally right.” She pulled her dress back into place, her eyes now unable to meet his.
“Hey,” he chided softly, putting a finger under her chin. “You’re shaking like a leaf.” Worry was the predominant emotion in his face as he stared down at her. He padded a finger over her mouth and then strode to the bar in the corner. He poured a measure of scotch and brought it back to her.
She understood the gesture. It could help redress moments of stress. But it smelled so strongly of the drink Caradoc had favoured that her insides squirmed. She threw it back in one measure. Stars formed behind her eyes. “That’s strong.”
He nodded, and put a consoling arm around her shoulders. “What’s going on?”
“I can’t … you’ll hate me.”
“I promise, I can’t hate you. I’m incapable of it. You’re too lovely.”
“No, I’m not,” she contradicted with self-directed anger. “God, Anton, I’m not lovely, I’m a mess.”
He studied her with a small smile. She was perfect, as always, to look at. But her mental state was upset. He understood that she was distressed and he wanted to help.
“Tell me, Seraphina.”
She bit down on her lip, the scotch glass cradled in her hands. They were still shaking. He moved to crouch in front of her.
Finn breathed softly. “I don’t t
hink … I … I broke up with a guy. A little while ago. And I think I’m still … I don’t know.” She sobbed. “I want to move on. I want to forget him. But … he’s just always there. Right in my mind where he shouldn’t be.”
Anton nodded slowly. “You can’t rush these things. Breaking up is hard.”
“It wasn’t even like that though. It wasn’t serious. It’s not like we were together that long either. But I …”
“You loved him,” he said simply, and she nodded, her green eyes enormous in her face.
“I did. It was stupid. I can see now that he’s an arrogant, cocky, undeserving prick. But yeah. I loved him.” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Anton. I thought that if I met someone like you I could get over him faster.”
“That makes sense,” he assured her.
She sobbed again. “You’re being too nice about this! God, why are you so sweet?”
“Hey,” he kissed her gently. “You’re sweet too. You just need time.” He put a hand on her knee and then stood up. “I really like you, Seraphina. I want to get to know you better. I would like nothing more than to continue our relationship. But we can’t, in good conscience, until you’ve sorted out your feelings for your ex.”
Finn stood jerkily and opened her mouth to speak but he put a finger over her lips. “Don’t apologise again. You’ve done nothing wrong. But it would have been wrong of me to take advantage of you tonight. No matter how much I wanted to. Do you understand that?”
