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“I know.” He swallowed. “I was wrong. I hadn’t expected … I came back and you were packed. You were saying things that I couldn’t comprehend and I handled it … poorly. This has nothing to do with me wanting to acquire you. I want to be with you. End of.”
“No.” She bit down on her lip. “You don’t. You had me. You had me in your life, and you treated me like … all you wanted was sex. And I’ll admit it was great. But you didn’t try to get to know me. You worked so much I hardly saw you.”
“That isn’t true,” he rejected immediately. “I took days off to be with you. My job is demanding, but I spent as much time with you as I could.”
Finn rolled her eyes. She tamped down on the desire to rebut that point. “None of that matters now. It’s just a whole heap of little details that add up to the one incontrovertible fact that we make no sense. We never did.”
“Oh, but this guy does?” He jerked his thumb angrily towards the ballroom. “He’s better for you than I was?”
Her cheeks flushed.
“He’s just a friend,” she said honestly.
Caradoc arched a brow. “Do you make a habit of kissing your friends in full view of a gallery of press?”
“What?” And then, comprehension dawned. “You knew about him.” She closed her eyes softly. “You saw a picture of him and me … the night we … Oh, Caradoc. You idiot. You’re here because you’re jealous. Not because you love me, but because, like some stupid immature, insecure child you’ve realised someone else is playing with a toy you had first and you don’t like it.”
“You’re damned right I don’t like it,” he said thickly. “That photo made me sick to my stomach.”
“It wasn’t what it looked like,” she defended huffily.
“And him leaving your place the next morning?”
“God, were you just camped out there or something?”
“I came to see you. I arrived only a minute before he left, looking very smug with himself, I might add.”
“He’s a good friend,” she said simply. “And beyond that, it’s not your business.”
“Jesus, Finn. Please throw me a bone here. I can’t lose you. So tell me what I can do.”
Her laugh was without humour. “Go back in time and change everything.”
He frowned.
“The whole time we were together, everything was on your terms. You wouldn’t beg. You wouldn’t ask. You would simply state your request and expect me to go along with it. I see that now, though at the time I was too blinded by how much I loved you to see a damned thing. I hate myself for having gone along with that.”
“Fine. I can fix this,” he promised desperately. “I will do anything you ask of me now. You control our relationship. You fucking control me. “
She lifted a hand to brush away a stray strand of hair that was over her eyes. He moved for it at the same time and their fingers brushed. Electricity jolted her system.
“Tell me what you want. Tell me what you need. I will do anything to show you how much you mean to me.”
“Stop it.” She begged urgently. She ripped her hand far away from his. “Please stop. I can’t do this again.”
“Try,” he said with the same sense of need. “Just … try.”
“I …”
“You loved me. You said you loved me, at least. I don’t think you’ve switched that off. So give me a chance. Just … open the door.”
Her heart was pulling at her, begging her to listen to him. Her mind was doing its level best to get her feet to storm away.
She was in pain. Physically, her body felt injured somehow. “I …”
“Caradoc? What are you doing out here?”
The voice behind them was heavily accented and smoky. They turned as one, and Finn felt a sharp pang of disgust.
