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She nodded, completely shell-shocked.
“Okay.” His voice was resonant. “You have my number. I’ll be in town indefinitely.”
She spun back to face him. “Why?”
He quirked a brow.
“Do you have a client here?”
“No. I don’t usually do protective details anymore. I’m moving my corporate presence to London for the interim.”
“Because of me?”
His expression was defiant, as though he was scared that if he admitted that to her, he would be too vulnerable. So when he nodded, just once, she knew what that had taken, and her heart swelled to at least twice its original size.
It was almost impossible to know what to say.
“Okay,” he repeated. “I’ll go now.” He hesitated a moment, then moved towards Max, pressing a kiss against her forehead, and up close he smelled so damned good, every part of her exploded. She lifted her hands, curling them in his shirt, holding on as though she were drowning and he alone could save her.
He took a step back, dislodging her hands, then began to move out of the kitchen, towards the front door. She heard his footsteps, and it was like each one was the thundering of a drum, loud and consequential, so before she knew it she was following behind him.
“Noah, wait,” she murmured.
He froze, almost as though bracing for what she was going to say.
“Don’t come here to apologise for walking out on me then walk out on me all over again.”
“I’m giving you space,” he denied. “Do you want me to stay?”
“Yes.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “At least until I’ve had a chance to reply. You can’t just walk in here and drop a bombshell like this and then go away again. That’s not fair.”
His expression bore a tight, wary mask. “Then what do you want to say?”
She bit down on her lower lip. “I’m so mad at you.”
He clipped his head once. “You have every right to be.”
“You don’t need to tell me that. I know how I’m allowed to feel.”
He lifted his hands in a conciliatory gesture, not saying anything in reply.
“You broke my heart when you walked out of here, Noah.”
His eyes darkened and she saw the recognition there, the self-directed anger. She understood how much he hated that he’d done that to her.
“You treated me like I was disposable to you, like I meant nothing. You treated me like a client you’d saved, and could move on from and forget.” Emotion made her voice uneven. “I have spent every night since then believing you felt that way about me and I have been so completely, utterly miserable.”
Sympathy softened his features, pain too.
She swallowed past a lump in her throat. “But I just need to understand exactly what you want. I can’t lose you again. I need to know how to protect myself from loving you so completely that I’m torn apart all over again.” She bit down on her lower lip. “I’m scared, Noah.”
“Scared I’ll hurt you?”
“Scared I’ll lose you, yeah.”
“And if I promise you won’t?”
She toyed with her hands, fidgeting from a mix of nerves and excitement.
