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My en suite bathroom is big—the kind of place I could never have imagined, growing up as I did. It’s at least twice the size of most bedrooms I knew as a kid and it’s covered in marble tiles. A spa bath is at its centre and to the side, with frosted windows that overlook the Thames, there is a shower. I like to shower. I like the feel of water on my skin and I have an overhead nozzle as well as one from either wall.
Holly lifts a brow with amusement. ‘You don’t think this is kind of overkill?’
It’s impossible for someone like her to understand. You grow up with nothing and it does things to you. Trust me, I know about this stuff.
‘You haven’t felt the shower.’ I grin, making light of it, not wanting to open the door to my reasons for living as I do. My bathroom is a palace and the rest of my home is like a loft—there’s nothing luxurious nor expensive, nothing particularly personal, anywhere in this place. As though I’m expecting to pick up a rucksack at any point and walk right out that door. Like I’ve done so many times. I guess old habits really do die hard.
‘I don’t know if my feelings can take anything else wonderful tonight...’ she says, teasing me, reaching out and curling her fingers in my hair in a gesture of such simple intimacy that my heart stalls with ice and rejection immediately.
Intimacy—other than physical—is a lie. A lie people tell themselves, a benign lie, but one with the power to rip your soul out.
‘Let’s test that theory.’
I designed a home app that runs this place—I can control everything from my watch or phone, or from within my car, where I have an audio transceiver hooked up. I programmed the shower with seventeen settings. I go for number five now. All the jets turn on and the water is warm, just warm.
I don’t put Holly down, though. Instead, I lower her onto my cock—my ever-hard cock, right now, thanks to her—and she moans as I do so, her body covered in water, her hair slicked back, her eyes almost panicked when they meet mine. As though she can’t quite believe how good it is between us. How much she wants me.
She tips her head back, her eyes on the ceiling, a cascade of water dousing her.
I’m not wearing a condom. I just want to feel her like that first time, when she climbed on top of me and took me without a single thought for anything other than assuaging her needs, for slaking this desire.
‘I’m on the Pill,’ she says, the words higher in pitch, which I now know means she’s close. Her words drill into me. Is she saying what I think she is? ‘Are you...’ Her eyes drop to mine for a moment and, despite the pink in her cheeks, the tautness of her nipples, she seems to find sanity for a moment. ‘I mean, I presume you’re...safe?’
As it happens, I had to get a full raft of tests a couple of weeks ago—my life insurance is worth enough to buy a country and they like to keep an eye on me. I suppose I’m one of their higher risk clients.
She nods. ‘I don’t want you to use a condom.’ She tilts her head back again and the way she said that, what she’s giving me, is just about the biggest turn-on I can imagine.
I make a primal sound of assent and pull her away from me. She’s so small, I seem to have forgotten she has free will and I’m moving her according to my own desires. One look at her face, though, and I see that she doesn’t mind. That she wants this. That she feels all the good feels right here with me.
I spin her around, facing her towards the windows that overlook the river, bracing her hands on the window ledge.
‘It’s a nice view, but I kind of liked what we were doing,’ she says.
I don’t answer. Not verbally. I push into her from behind and her legs spread wider for me, her body tilting forward so I have complete access to everything I want and need. This! This is how I need to feel her.
I cup her breasts possessively as I push into her and my mouth drops to her shoulder, my teeth pressing against her flesh. She whimpers, her body throbbing around me already. But I’m not going to give her time to absorb each orgasm; I’m going to deluge her with them. I drop one hand to her clit, finding the sensitive cluster of nerves and teasing them with my fingers as my cock moves hard within her. I torment her nipple, rolling it between my thumb and forefinger, plucking it, pulling it until she’s crying out and I am addicted to the sound of that, her raspy, broken moans of surrender.
I know what Holly has been through and from the moment she told me I have felt protective towards her, have thought I should treat her with kid gloves. But what I want, and what I am realising she wants, is for me to simply fuck her, hard.
I do that now, pushing into her as deep as she’ll take me, and the harder I move the more she cries out, begging me over and over, ‘Please, Noah, please.’
My name on her lips is heaven. I will never stop, so long as she keeps calling to me like that. ‘No—ahhhhh...’ She pushes backwards, giving me better access, and I grip her hips with both my hands, holding her hard against me as I slam into her. Her body shakes and quivers and her voice is a primal, feral cry that reverberates around the bathroom as she comes.
I hold her still, steadying her, reassuring her, and my dick throbs inside her as Holly’s warm, wet muscles squeeze me tight, whispering at me to join her, to find my own ecstatic release. But I don’t want this to end yet. I am high on what I can do to her, what she can do to me.
I am high on this feeling.
It takes all my willpower, but I stay hard inside her, refusing to give in to the waves of euphoria that are running through me.
She stays as she is, staring out of the window, or perhaps not seeing, I don’t know. She is shaking all over, her body physically changed by what we just did. I remember then that I didn’t want to give her time to recover.
I run my hand around to her beautiful pussy, brushing against the base of my cock in my quest to touch her. I rub my fingers against her and she moans; I feel her muscles clench anew, wrapping around my cock. Hell, I feel my own ministrations as I massage her into another climax and grit my teeth together, holding off, wanting her to come again, needing her to.
‘What are you doing to me?’ she whimpers, right before she explodes and now I hold her breasts tight, cupping her with both hands, thinking they are the most perfect breasts I’ve ever felt. Thinking she is perfect.
It’s a stray thought and I dismiss it, but then Holly does what I could never have expected. She pulls away from me, a moan of emptiness escapes her as she removes my cock. She turns around to face me and she looks just what she is—a woman who has been fucked. Thoroughly.
I wonder what she’ll say or do. My dick is hard and huge between us and her eyes drop to it. I see her swallow as she takes in my length, perhaps wondering how the hell I fit inside her in the first place.
