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‘I think you should go.’
‘What the hell? You invited me back here.’
‘I changed my mind.’
‘Well,’ she snaps, but steps away from me, ‘you could at least let me finish my drink.’
She throws it back in one go. I remember Holly on that first night, when a few glasses of champagne knocked her sideways, and my gut clenches.
I call the model a cab, and when I hear it beep out the front I open the door, intending to make sure she at least gets safely inside, feeling somewhat responsible for her fully drunk state.
Holly is standing at the bottom of the steps when I open the door. Our eyes lock and my body squirms, my heart throbs, my blood stills.
Holly.
She looks away almost instantly, her arms crossed. She’s bundled up in a huge coat, wrapped tight against the weather. She’s pale, her face pinched, her eyes firing into mine.
I press my lips together, walking Model to the waiting cab and holding the door open for her. She smiles at me as she slips in and I slam the door shut with more force than intended.
Holly.
I turn back to my steps and walk towards her, my expression guarded.
‘What are you still doing here?’
She opens her mouth to speak, but she can’t. She’s gaping like a fish out of water and then she shakes her head, digging her fingertips into her chest and staring at me like she’s drowning and only I can save her.
‘I...I don’t know. I just... I’m so angry at you! I had to tell you...’ But she doesn’t sound angry. She sounds like someone who’s deflating slowly before my eyes.
‘And I guess... I guess I had to know. I had to know, without a doubt, that you’d... I had to know that you’d slept with her,’ she says thickly, gripping the railing again, needing its stability.
Thinking I’d fucked the model is killing Holly and I don’t want to do that, not even a little bit. I’m angry with her and she’s angry with me, and I know I can’t see her again, but I don’t want her to hurt because of me. Not because of this. There are enough things I’ve genuinely screwed up without adding a phantom lay into the mix.
‘I didn’t sleep with her.’
She nods. ‘Fucked her, I should have said.’
‘I didn’t do that either.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘I’m not lying.’
Her eyes narrow. But she shakes her head. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Doesn’t it?’
‘No. If I hadn’t been here, would you have slept with her?’
I open my mouth to deny it but can’t. ‘Yes. Probably.’
She sweeps her eyes closed, the pain on her face unmistakable. ‘God, Noah. You’re seriously messed up.’
‘No shit.’ And suddenly I want Holly. I want Holly so damned bad. I need her. I take a step towards her, but she shakes her head, lifting a hand to hold me at bay.
‘Don’t. Don’t you dare touch me.’
Had my intent been so obvious?
