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Her eyes showed her disbelief.
‘Your brother and I have agreed to put our shares in trust—for our baby.’
At this, Amelia drew in a small, sharp breath. Surprise crossed her face. ‘Why?’
‘It’s their birthright. It should pass to them in one piece.’
‘Yes, of course.’ She nodded slowly. ‘I’ll do the same.’ And then with another soft sigh, ‘I only wish you’d thought of that right at the beginning.’
‘It wouldn’t have been enough,’ he muttered, regretting his own stupidity. ‘I wanted to destroy your brother, and nothing else would do. Not then.’
She bristled, visibly rejecting him. ‘And now?’
‘I no longer wish to destroy him, hermosa.’
Her expression showed wariness. ‘Why not?’
‘Because he is your brother, and you love him, and he will be the uncle to our child, just like you said. But it’s more than that. I want, more than anything, to make you happy.’
She crossed her arms, the gesture one of scepticism and disbelief. ‘Why are you saying this now?’
But she was tired, her skin pale. ‘Come inside. Sit down,’ he urged softly.
‘No.’ She was resolute. ‘Why now? What happened?’
‘You went away,’ he said simply, but the words were punctuated by gravelled pain. ‘And I saw everything clearly for the first time in a long time. Without you, nothing matters. It’s that simple. Everything I was fighting for—to avenge a historic wrong—seemed so trivial. I just wanted you. To hold you and wake up with you, to make you smile and fetch you tea.’ He stroked his thumb across her cheek, and she watched him as he studied her. ‘I just want you back, so badly. I thought ours was a marriage of convenience and common sense—I had no idea until you left that I had become addicted to you—to all of you. I didn’t realise that I had fallen completely in love with you.’
She was silent, her beautiful face pinched as his words settled around them, and he waited, even when anxiety was rippi
ng him apart from the inside out.
‘I don’t know if you’re capable of feeling love.’
The accusation hurt, but she had every reason to feel that way, he acknowledged. Panic flared in his gut because he’d lost her once and he couldn’t lose her again.
‘I loved you, I think, even on that first night, when you threatened me with a meat cleaver. When you confounded all my expectations. When you made me laugh and look beyond my own stupid prejudices. When you gave yourself to me so sweetly, so willingly, and with all of the generosity that is so much a part of you.’
Tears filled her eyes and, God, he wanted them gone! He never wanted her to cry again, unless from sheer joy.
‘You used me that night, Antonio. And you’ve been using me ever since.’
‘No.’ He shook his head emphatically. ‘Our families had nothing to do with why I wanted you—they never did.’
‘You blackmailed me into marriage—’
‘I know that,’ he interrupted gruffly, ripping his hand through his hair so it spiked at odd angles. ‘I have been a bastard to you and I hate myself for that. I hate everything I have done to you, and yet I cannot say with confidence that I would not do it all again. I fell in love with a woman I wished I hated, and I have spent the last eight months pushing you away rather than face the fact that you’re everything I’ve ever wanted in this life.’
Her eyes held his for a brief second before flitting away, and the sadness in them was enough to make him crumble. ‘I don’t deserve another chance with you, Amelia, but I am begging you for one.’
Her sharp intake of breath showed that he was hurting her and yet he couldn’t stop.
‘I want you to come home, to be my wife, to live with me again. I want to hold you in my arms as you sleep, to run my fingers over your hair and wrap my arms around your body. I want to kiss you every morning and make love to you every night. But I know that is a fantasy now.’ He cupped her face, desperate for her to look at him, but she kept her eyes averted, staring at their feet. ‘So please let me stay here, with you. In a spare room, on the sofa, anything. Let me in, just a little, so that I can show you I’m willing to work at this, that I’m prepared to be everything you could ever want. Our marriage was all on my terms—and now it can be all on yours. Just please, do not send me away, Amelia. I am begging you...’
Amelia shook her head and stepped backwards, moving away from him a little, but at least now she looked at him. Her expression was guarded; it was impossible to know what she was thinking and feeling. He waited, knowing he’d said his piece, knowing this decision was hers now, and that he had to respect her wishes.
‘Why are you here?’
The question surprised him.
