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He stood before her, his dark eyes fusing with hers. “I love you.” He lifted the washer and gently passed it over her face, wiping away the make up she wore with true pleasure. He’d longed to do it all along, and the satisfaction in removing the physical barrier was immense. Carrie was obviously not enjoying it, but to her credit, she stood very still, her eyes clinging to his.
When her face was exposed, he came to stand behind her, so that she could see their reflections in the mirror. “Look at yourself,” he chided gently.
She shook her head, her eyes still hanging on his.
“Look and see what I see. These eyes that sparkle with the power of the moon. Your softly pouted lips. Skin so pale and soft. Your kind expression. Your curious intelligence.” He kissed the base of her neck. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Carrie. If we are blessed with long lives, I hope I will see your face covered in wrinkles one day. Your eyes will still sparkle like this.” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “Your body will not be like this forever. I want to see you fat with our children nurtured in your belly. I will love you through all of this, because your body and your face are not what I really cherish. It’s you.” He lifted a hand to her heart. “It’s your goodness in here. It’s all of you.”
He spun her into the circle of his arms. “This is what I should have said to you in Spain. But I was frustrated, and I acted on impulse. I want you to see yourself as I do. As your friend Juanita does. A wonderful person – a person not defined by hair colour or cosmetics.”
She made a sound of sadness, which was odd, because his words made her feel almost as if she could fly.
“But I will go gently, Carrie. If we have to discuss this every day, until you finally understand and accept what you are, then we will do it. If you never give up your obsession for lettuce and lipstick, I will still love you.”
Carrie dipped her head forward to disguise the searing comprehension that was beginning to dawn.
“But please, Carrie, tell me you want me. That you want this.”
She lifted her face, so that she could stare into his eyes. “You look at me in the strangest way,” she said seriously, her eyes scanning his fa
ce.
“Do I?” He frowned. “What way is that?” Impatience was spreading through him, and fear too. Fear that she might walk away from him for the last time.
She wrinkled her brow and flicked her blue eyes from left to right, then stared with concentration into his eyes. He laughed at her impersonation of him, but he understood. “I have been looking for you all this time. Behind the make up, and the cool way you hold your emotions in check, I have been looking for the Carrie who speaks to birds and sings at roses. I sometimes wondered if I’d lost you but then every now and again you’d appear. At the most unexpected times.”
She smiled brightly at him. “Like now?”
“Yes.” He nodded slowly. “Now you are much as I have always thought of you.”
She laughed with uncontained happiness, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you.”
Three words – undoubtedly the best he’d ever heard. He held her tight, and silently promised her that he would love her so much that she had no choice to love herself, too.
“But Gael,” she pulled away for a second, a small frown of bemusement on her face. “When you talked about growing old together, and all that…”
Fear rendered his heart cold. “Si?”
“I really do love you, but …”
“What is it?”
“Oh, it’s just …” she bit down on her lip. Be brave, she silently encouraged. “I don’t want to get married. I mean, not now.”
“Uh huh,” he said with a comprehending nod. “You are only twenty three, after all.”
“Exactly! Almost twenty four. But I still feel way too young. It’s funny, I don’t feel that about Juanita and Tom. But … I want to have time with you to…”
“Have fun with me?” He prompted with a smile.
“Yes. Before we settle down and become boring.”
His laugh was rich with pleasure. “I do not think we will ever become boring,” he promised, as he kissed her lips with all the love and passion in his soul.
EPILOGUE
Three years later.
Carrie’s eyes read the newspaper article again, her whole body sparking with a sense of other-person-ness
