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What the fuck? Oh my God, I thought we’d take baby steps- hand job tonight, blow job in the very distant future. I blink and inhale a deep breath, remembering that I asked for this. I’m so fucking nervous.
I lean forward taking one deep breath and wrap my lips around him. I can taste him already and it does something to me, makes me want more. I take him in until he reaches the back of my throat and pull back. I do this a few times before he wraps my hair in his hand and helps me find the pace he wants. It’s much faster than I was going, but I keep it up.
“Oh shit,” I hear him moan and open my eyes, looking up at him.
My breath is stolen from me. His head is back, his eyes are tightly closed and his mouth is open. His face is flushed and every muscle looks ridged. It’s fucking sexy. Closing my eyes, I continue my first blow job, on my best friend, his hand gripping tighter in my hair.
His hips start to move as he begins to fuck my mouth. I greedily take it all, loving the moans and groans I cause him to release. I can taste more of him, and I let my tongue lick it all as I continue to bob my head.
Suddenly it all stops. “Lesson’s over,” he grunts and pulls my hair until I release him with a pop. “It’s over, stop.”
I jump up and rush out of there feeling like an asshole. I can’t even look at him right now, never mind ask what the fuck just happened, I’m humiliated. I fall onto the bed and let a few tears fall. Obviously, he was into it until he realized it was me. God, I’m such a fucking idiot to think he was turned on because of me. This was a horrible idea, I should have just never said anything to him. Now I have no idea how I will look at him tomorrow or ever again.
**
The next few days I managed to avoid him. I left for work early and I stayed late, even eating dinner at my parents’ one night. Making sure to get home when I knew he’d either be out or asleep. I feel like such a fool and I want advice, but needing advice is what got me into this situation. If I told Holly or my mom, they just wouldn’t understand, and who knows what kind of advice they would feed me. At this point it’s either confront him or keep up this horrible new schedule.
When school is over, Holly and I do our normal clean up and getting everything ready for the morning.
“Looks good. You ready to get out of here?” I ask Holly as I grab my purse.
“Holy shit, you are leaving at the same time as me. You want to tell me why you’ve been avoiding going home yet?” she asks as we walk to our cars.
“Nope. Have a good night. Tomorrow is Friday, and I could definitely use a night of getting trashed. You want to grab dinner and hit the bar after?” I ask, opening my car door.
She rolls her eyes. “Like you need to ask. I’ll meet you at your place,” she replies, getting into her car.
I decide to put on my big girl panties and go home. Once there I clean, shower, order a pizza and even print out some fun worksheets for the kids. I do all of this before Tenn even walks in the door. It’s nervous energy, and I’ve got an endless supply.
The doorbell rings, and I grab the money for the pizza. When I open the door it’s Tenn, showered and holding flowers.
“What the hell are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m sorry. This is me telling you I am so sorry for everything the other night,” he says, handing me the lilies, my favorite flower.
I inhale the sweet scent and smile up at him. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have been avoiding you. It’s just…” I stop talking and pull him into the house. “I’d rather the neighbors not know our business,” I say. I take the flowers into the kitchen, and he follows. “Anyway, I’m sorry I just got to into it and well, it’s okay. I totally get it.” I arrange the flowers in the vase.
“You get what?” he asks.
I hop up on the counter and swing my legs. “I get why you stopped it,” I say, shrugging.
He moves in front of me and the second his green eyes find mine, I’m thrown back. All I can see and hear is that night. The way he looked, the sounds he made, fuck the way it all made me feel.
“Why?” he asks.
“Come on, Tenn.”
“No, I want to know why you think I stopped it,” he demands.
Thankfully the doorbell rings, interrupting this moment between us. I hop off the counter, causing him to move back. “Pizza’s here.” I bring it into the kitchen and there he stands with his arms crossed. Damn it. “What, Tenn? What the fuck do you want me to say? You want me to say I was into it? I was so fucking turned on, more turned on than I’ve ever been in my life? You want to hear that exactly what I was afraid of happening is happening? Or do you want to hear that I totally get that you needed to stop because you realized it was me,” I yell, dropping the box on the counter.
I turn to leave, but he grabs my wrist pulling me to him. “When the fuck are you going to see it, Regan? How much clearer do I need to be?” he asks, his face a hairsbreadth away from mine.
“Tenn, please stop. If you want to say something, just say it and stop acting like I’ll break. If you didn’t like it, I can handle the truth,” I breathe out, exhausted from this constant back and forth over the last few days, hell years.
“You fucking idiot,” he whispers and moves his hands into my hair before slamming his lips on mine.
What in the ever-loving fuck is happening? That is my first thought, my second thought is, open your mouth, you fucking idiot. Once I do and our tongues collide, holy shit. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It’s hard and fast, yet soft and sexy. Tightening his hold on my hair, he turns my head deepening the kiss and causing me to moan. It feels so good, so fucking right. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he backs me up until I hit into the cabinets. He uses his knee to spread my legs, and I can feel myself getting wet before he even touches me.
