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I close my eyes tightly and hold on even tighter. “My club.”
It kills me to say it, but it’s the truth. That’s what he wanted. There’s enough lies and secrets between us. I won’t lie about my personal shit when he asks me not to.
“Good,” he says and pulls away. “Come on, let me get you home before it gets too late.”
We ride home and I can’t stop thinking about how he makes me feel. I know when he drops me off I need to let go of him and I’m not ready to, not by a long shot. I still don’t know what tonight was about, but I hope it was closure. For us both.
Chapter 5
Zane
“Not that I’m not loving the visit, but what are you really doing here, Zane?” my mom asks.
I sip my coffee and lean back in the kitchen chair. “I just wanted to check on you, Ma.”
It’s not entirely true and she knows that. Not because I don’t stop by to check on her, but because she’s my mom and can tell something is wrong. It’s a gift or maybe a curse. She knows this life very well. I think sometimes she misses it, but she’ll never admit it. She doesn’t miss the violence, but she misses the bonds.
“Tell me what’s going on,” she pushes.
I blow out a breath and run my hand through my hair. “Harper is back.”
“Fucking hell,” she mumbles. “Zane, I love you more than anything else in this world, so listen to me when I tell you to stay away. It’s not good for you, for her, or for the club. You know damn well it’s something that can’t happen.”
“It’s not that simple,” I whisper.
She gets up and goes over to the sink. Her hands grip it as she looks out the window. “Nothing that has to do with the club is simple, Zane. You have a huge heart, bigger than most, but she’s gonna get you killed.”
She’s right about that. Especially after the other night. I had no idea what my intentions were when I sat in her driveway. Not until I saw her. When I got her on the back of my bike again, it was all instinct after that. Memories. I haven’t fucked anyone that made me feel like she does and that shit fucks with you. I need to get my head on straight and stop thinking with my dick. That’s what I’m hoping this visit does.
“If being with Dad meant destroying everything you loved, would you still have done it?” I ask, truly wanting to know the answer.
She turns around and looks at me with sad eyes and a small smile. “I would have done anything to be with your father.”
I laugh and stand up. “That’s what I thought.” I give her a kiss and she wraps her arms tightly around me.
“Zane, just be careful. I can’t lose you too.”
I pull away and nod my head. “I’ll call you. Love you, Ma.”
“I love you too, my sweet boy.”
When I get outside my phone rings. “Yeah?”
“Souls, now,” Enzo says and hangs up.
“Shit.”
When I get there, I light a cigarette and walk inside. Kace grabs my arm as I walk in and gives me a look I know all too well. Brooks is pissed about something. I just nod and we both walk into the room and sit at the table. Everyone is here and I have no fucking idea what is going on.
“Kingsley’s guys left a message at our goddamn door step,” he says and slams his hand down.
“What?” I ask.
The room is filled with smoke and everyone seems to be as
clueless as me. Except for Enzo. It pisses me off that I wasn’t told beforehand, but my uncle is a selfish prick and I shouldn’t expect anything less. Pictures fly across the table as Brooks tosses them. We start picking them up and I shake my head. They are all pictures of not only some of our regulars but a few of our girls.
“What the fuck?” I ask.
