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I smile when he comes into view, but his face flashes with anger. He rushes to me, grabbing my arm, and pushes me back inside. I stumble and need to catch my balance against the wall.
“What the fuck are you doing? You are not to step foot outside. Do you have trouble remembering that shit? Is it too hard for you? Are you too juvenile to understand what the fuck I am telling you?” he yells, getting closer to my face.
I step back and before I can even stop myself, I slap him. My hand connects with his cheek, causing everyone who was already watching because he was yelling, to see. Anger and embarrassment get the best of me, so when he tries to grab my arm, I yank it away, shaking my head.
“Fuck you,” I whisper, turning my back to him as I walk away.
I head toward the door that leads to the back. I hear some of them asking Riley what that was all about and I see their shocked and sad eyes looking at me. Fuck them all. I push through the door and rush down the hallway to Riley’s room.
Once inside, I slam the door, locking it behind me. I rest my back against it and close my eyes. Angry tears run down my cheeks as I slide to the floor. I’m pissed he treated me like that, pissed I slapped him, and pissed they all saw. I don’t know what the hell his problem is, but I could’ve taken any of it, but when he called me juvenile, I snapped. He never mentions our age difference. And the few times he has, it’s about how I’m young and can keep up with him sexually. He’s never said anything hurtful about it.
A knock on the door startles me and I quickly wipe my eyes. “Gillian?”
When I hear his voice my fists tighten as I stand up. “What?”
“Let me in, baby girl,” he says.
“Fuck you.”
“I deserve that,” he replies.
I yank open the door, standing in the doorway. “You fucking think?” I shake my head, looking at his sad eyes. “You sure you wanna talk to me? I might not understand what you’re talking about. You know being so juvenile and all.”
He pushes past me and slams the door closed. He paces in front of it before stopping to look at me. “I’m sorry I fucking said that. I didn’t mean it.”
“You meant it. You’ve at least thought it before because it came out so easily,” I say, crossing my arms.
He scrubs his face and rests both hands behind his neck. “You have no idea the fucking pressure I’m feeling. I need to protect you, protect the club, deal with Brooks wanting to cut my nuts off, deal with an agent that is literally ready to fucking kill me. I’m sorry I fucking said you were juvenile. I didn’t mean it, I don’t think that about you at all. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Your age has never been a factor and it never will be. I took my anger and stress out on you,” he says, raising his eyes to meet mine. “I fucking love you.”
I should fight harder but seeing the worry in his eyes breaks me. He’s under a tremendous amount of pressure and now he thinks I’m gonna walk away again. I refuse to let him think that even for a minute longer.
I step in front of him and rest my hands on his face. “I’m not leaving, Riley. Talk to me, maybe I can help before it gets to the point you take it all out on me in front of everyone and make me slap you across the face again,” I say, narrowing my eyes as I rub his cheek. “I’m sorry I slapped you.”
He grabs me, wrapping his arms tightly around me. He buries his face in my neck and sighs. “If the club doesn’t come up with something soon, I’m gonna take things into my own hands. Agent asshole isn’t going anywhere,” he whispers.
I kiss his head and rub his back. “I believe in you, Riley. I know you and the club will come up with something. I’m sorry this is all happening because of me.”
He lifts his head and searches my eyes. “This is because of me, not you.”
“If I never hacked those federal sites none of this would be happening. You wouldn’t have tried to protect me, causing the agent and the club to put everything on you. I feel guilty and I just have to sit here while you fix it all,” I say, shaking my head.
“Listen to me and listen good,” he says, sinking his hands into my hair. “All of this would’ve happened regardless, but it was me who made shit worse, I told you this already. I should’ve gone to the club immediately instead of trying to do it alone. Everything that is happening is because of me. The only thing you did was make me feel whole again, confident again, brave again. Do not feel guilty about that.”
He welcomes my lips when I press them against his. My tongue sweeps across his and I try to express my feelings with this kiss. It’s rough, sloppy, and full of emotion. It’s just like us.
He rests his forehead on mine and I smile at him. “Tell me what I can know.”
We walk over and sit down on the bed. He rubs my arms as he shrugs. “He needs to die.”
The room closes in on me and I feel like I can’t get enough air.
What. The. Fuck?
Chapter 12
Riley
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