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After a night of showing each other how much we love each other, waking up today and going to work was not what I wanted to do. Thankfully, I had left work clothes at his place and was able to sleep just a bit longer. The day is dragging and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. The more I think about it, the more nervous I get for dinner tonight.
I talked to Blake this morning and he said that his dad would be there around seven, so I asked Braden if we could get there around six-thirty. He didn’t even think twice when he said of course. He told me to go home and get ready and he’d pick me up and drive there. I thought that was the best idea considering I might at some point want to run.
Once I get home from work, I take a much-needed shower. I’ve got my hair and makeup done and I’m standing in the closet trying to figure out what to wear. I mean what the fuck do you wear when you’re meeting your father for the first time? I feel this pressure of wanting to make a good first impression yet wanting to tell him what an asshole I think he is. “Ugh.” I need to just pick something and be done because Braden is going to be here soon.
I settle on a black sundress and pair it with simple flip-flops. Looking at myself in the mirror I see an adult with curls in her hair, makeup on her face and, yet I feel like a child. I’ve wanted this my whole life, to find my real dad. I never had expectations of what I thought he would be like, but now with everything that has happened over the last few months, I’m terrified he won’t be anything like Braden is with his girls.
“McKinley?” Braden calls and I snap out of my thoughts, looking behind me. He walks into my room and smiles. “You look beautiful.”
I frown but nod my head as I wrap my arms around him. “Thank you.”
He lifts my chin and searches my eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m just nervous. It isn’t an emotion I’m used to,” I say, giving him a half-smile.
“No, it isn’t. My girl is fearless, but you know what?” I lift my eyebrow and he winks before continuing. “That’s what I’m here for. I’ll be strong when you are weak, I’ll be fearless when you are scared, and I’ll fight when you give up.”
I press my lips to his and the tears I was holding back fall. He is so much more than I deserve, and I will never take that for granted. Breaking the kiss, I finally feel my first real smile. “Thank you for being you.”
“McKinley, you never need to thank me for loving you. It’s something that comes natural, like breathing,” he says, wiping my tears away. “If you are alright, we should really go, otherwise your dad will be there before us.”
When we pull up to Blake’s my heart is pounding in my chest and I take a deep breath. I wasn’t this nervous to just show up at his door, I don’t know why it’s getting the best of me now. I close my eyes briefly, thinking about all the bullshit I had to deal with before I got here. If I could survive that alone, I can handle this with the love and support I now have.
“Let’s go,” I say opening the door.
Thankfully, we made it before he does. Braden and I are sitting out back with Blake and London. The conversation has been steady, but nothing about tonight. Nothing about how strange this whole situation is or how awkward it might be. They are talking about friends, books, TV, the damn weather, but no mention of why we are all here.
I’m wringing my hands together and looking out at the sun reflecting off the pool as it begins to set. This feeling of anger is building up inside of me and I don’t like it. I haven’t felt this way since I left Louisiana. This need to just yell because I’m so damn frustrated. Closing my eyes, I try to get myself to relax, but it’s not working.
“Why the fuck are we talking about everything else but what is actually happening here? I’m about to meet the man who wanted nothing to do with me for the last twenty-nine years and I don’t give a fuck about what you all watched last night,” I yell, getting up and walking toward the pool.
This isn’t me. I’m too invested in all of this. I shouldn’t give a shit what that man thinks of me, but son of a bitch, I do. I’m not the same person I was when I first got here. I’m full of love and dare I say, faith. Everyone has given me a reason to believe that anything is possible. They all live their dreams, and I am starting to, all because of them. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have cared what anyone thought of me, but now it’s just all changed.
“McKinley, I’m sorry. You’re right, I just thought if we talked about other things, it would help relax you,” Blake says, wrapping his arm around me.
“No, Blake. I’m sorry. That was completely uncalled for. This isn’t a big deal to anyone else, hell he raised you, you have no reason to be nervous,” I say, looking up at him.
“You have no reason to be nervous either. I told you I’d always have your back and you have Braden and London here too. We are here for you. Dad isn’t going to do anything. He’s going to come and just talk like he’s known you forever,” he says, kissing me on the forehead.
We go back to the table and I apologize to London and Braden for flipping my shit like a child. Of course, Braden pulls me into his arms and reminds me how much he loves me and to remember what he said back at the house.
Just as he lets go, the sliding door opens and a tall older version of Blake walks out, minus the smile he is always wearing. My eyes widen when Blake’s mom, or who I assume is his mom, walks out behind him. What in the actual fuck?
Chapter 16
Braden
* * *
I grab tightly onto McKinley’s hand when her father walks outside, and she squeezes even tighter when Blake’s mom walks out. I look to Blake quickly and he shakes his head. He knows exactly what I was asking without saying, why the fuck is she here too?
“Hey, Blake. Hi London, looking beautiful as always,” Andy, Blake’s dad says, before looking toward me and McKinley.
“Holy shit,” he whispers and comes over pulling McKinley in for a hug. I’m close enough to hear everything and that is intentional. “I would have known you anywhere. You look just like your mama. I’m sorry McKinley, I truly am sorry for everything,” he says, and I let my guard down a bit.
They pull apart and Andy calls over Marie. “This is my wife, Marie.”
I can see in McKinley’s eyes that she is overwhelmed and damn I can’t blame her. This is a lot to take in. She’s not used to having people around her that love her, other than her mom. Coming into this crew of people and add in finding your long-lost dad, that’s more than most people can handle.
