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I don’t argue. I hug them all and leave. She’s right. This has been the longest, most emotional day I’ve ever had. A hot shower and comfortable bed might help.
I wake up, reaching over for McKinley. Realization crashes around me and I open my eyes. The empty spot in the bed that she usually fills, stares back at me. I sit up and look down at my knuckles. They’re a little swollen and cut up, but they feel better. I wish I could say the same for my heart.
Everything they said last night made sense. I may have let my emotions get the best of me. I need to go talk to her this morning and hear her story.
After I get dressed, I call my mom to check on the girls. Listening to them excited in the background brings a smile to my face. I will never need to miss the sound again. She tells me she’s taking them shopping with Kallie and I smile. I’ve got almost everyone I love back.
The drove over to McKinley’s seems to take longer than ever before. My brows dip when I see her car isn’t there. I get out and knock on the door, but when there is no answer, I try the handle. It opens and I step inside.
“McKinley?”
I stop short when I realize all her things are gone. I rush to the bedroom and tear open the closet, finding it open. The drawers are empty, everything is empty. She’s gone.
I don’t know if she left because she was caught in a lie or because I pushed her away. I sit down on the bed, shaking my head.
Everything in this house is empty, including me.
Chapter 21
McKinley
* * *
I crack my eyes open and the light coming in through the dirty window on this beat-up trailer, shines through. Coming back here, to the place that treated me like a failure, makes me feel just that. I failed. The look on Braden’s face said it all. It doesn’t matter that everything changed once I got to know them. They will never look at me the same again. They’ll see me as the girl who rode into town and took advantage of their generosity.
Leaving was the only option I had and since I failed it was only right, I ended up where I started. The last few months have been the happiest of my life. It had nothing to do with modeling and everything to do with the amazing people I was surrounded by. The support, connection, and love they all have that they extended to me. Blake welcomed me with open arms, and it was amazing having a real family. A brother that had my back no matter what. Jax, Kallie, and London were like the extended family I never had. They make you feel welcome and it’s genuine.
But Braden, damn. He owns my heart and soul. I will never love again. It’s impossible when I gave it all away to him. I never truly knew what love was until Braden. My heart is crushed, and I don’t think I will ever be the same.
It’s been a couple of days since I left, and I miss him so much that I physically hurt. I’ve played out every romantic moment, every time we had sex, every sweet word he’s ever said to me. I’ve cried so much I could possibly be dehydrated. That smile that lights up his face when he would see me, the way his eyes would soften when I spoke, the way he had to have me close, it’s gone. I’ll never experience the joy on his face when he watches his daughters. I’ll miss out on them growing up and it makes the pain so much worse. I love them too.
“McKinley?”
I groan as I climb out of bed, slipping on my robe. The door to the trailer slams closed and I lean against the doorway of my tiny room.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
She tilts her head and smiles. “Is that any way to talk to your mama?”
“Yes, Mama it is. I learned a lot of things the last few months and one of them was what a good parent is. A good parent doesn’t put themselves first. They are willing to give up everything for their children. They are happy just to spend time with their children. A good parent doesn’t make their child feel like they are the reason for everything bad that happens. A good parent helps their child, they don’t tell them they are reaching too high.” I shake my head when she sits down, picking at her nails. She doesn’t give a shit what I have to say. She never did. “What do you want Mama?”
She looks up at me and frowns. “I wanted to see if you were alright?”
I groan grabbing a water off the counter. “Seriously, what are you doing here?”
“I’m a little short on cash and I know you said you were making good money. How about loaning me some cash?” she asks.
Without saying a word, I walk back into the bedroom and try to slam the bifold door. It nearly falls off so I yell out my frustration and throw my water bottle. I hate this town. I hate this trailer. I hate my mother. She always takes and never gives. She doesn’t care about me, never has.
“I’ll come back,” she yells, letting the door slam against the trailer.
My tears begin again. I saw firsthand what it was like to be loved by your mother and your father. Braden and Kallie’s mom is the perfect example. Her eyes smile when she’s around her children. She loves and respects them, and they love and respect her. Which is why Braden is such an amazing father. He learned from the best.
There’s a knock on the door and I pull at my hair. She’s not going to give up until I give her money or get the fuck out of here. I ignore her while I get dressed. She knocks again and I ignore it while I grab another water. She knocks again and I run over to the door.
“Mama, go the fuck home.” I freeze and step back. “Braden?”
I stare at him and shame washes over me. He now knows everything. He knows this shitty town, this rusted trailer, and that I lied. Yet, he’s still standing there wa
