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“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life. If you walk away from me, I won’t come to find you,” Kegan yells.
I can’t take it. I’m completely broken. So, I walk away, after I promised I wouldn’t. He’s screaming my name and my knees buckle. It’s over. It’s all over.
I’m sorry big guy.
Chapter Eighteen
Kegan
“Kegan, stop brother,” Lane says, grabbing my shoulder.
I snap my head back to look at him, but he doesn’t flinch. He stares back at me with pity in his eyes. Fucking pity.
I drop the mug I was going to smash, and it shatters at my feet. How fitting.
I run my hands through my hair and lean against the wall. She left. She fucking walked away. She promised she wouldn’t, but first sign of trouble and she took off. Watching her walk away ripped my heart open, and it continues to bleed in my chest. She destroyed me.
“You need to talk to her,” Everett says, picking up some of the broken glass on the floor.
I shake my head as a hollow laugh escapes me. “She walked away, not me.”
“You gave her no option,” he replies.
I grab him by the shirt and get right in his face. Lane and Remi grab my arms, but my adrenaline is too high. “I gave her the option to stay, to fucking fight. She left. I didn’t make her do shit!” I yell.
He grabs my shirt and rests his forehead on mine. “You’re in pain, your world is falling apart. You're pissed and you’re sad. You’re not seeing shit straight right now. You are Kegan fucking Donovan. You fight for what you love.”
I close my eyes and for the first time in my life a tear runs down my cheek. “I need alcohol.”
The guys clean up the mess I’ve made while I drink straight out of the bottle of Titos. I need something to numb the pain, to make me forget. I let her in, and she walked away with my fucking soul.
“Kegan.” I lift my reddened eyes to Lane. “You’re my brother, my best fucking friend. We’ll figure this shit out. You need to trust that.”
I take a long pull of the vodka and wipe my mouth with my hand. “I trust nothing.” The three of them look at each other and I shake my head, starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. “Stop! Either drink with me or leave me the fuck alone.”
They each grab a shot glass and I pour it for them. I sit in silence, drinking and wondering how I’m still alive when my heart no longer beats.
I wake up on the couch and groan as my head pounds. “Fuck.”
I sit up and see Lane asleep at the table. I stand up to get a water and realize I’m still drunk.
“You alright?”
I ope
n the water and look at Lane. “No, I’m not.”
He nods as he stretches. “This fucking table sucks for sleeping.” I nod as he stands up and sits next to me on the couch I fall back on.
“How much did I drink?”
“Enough to give you alcohol poisoning,” he says.
I rest my head in my hands and groan. “Yeah, I fucking believe it.”
“You did a lot of talking last night,” he says.
I can’t even lift my head to look at him, so I keep it buried in my hands. “Oh yeah?”
