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A special thanks to my husband Russell. You put up with a lot, don’t think I don’t appreciate it. You shell out a lot of money to make my dreams come true. Thank you for your support. I love you.
Thank you to my three amazing kids, Russell Jr, Jeanette and Hailey. Thank you for understanding when I yelled that it was because I was writing. For dealing with a grumpy mom a lot of the time. Most of all thank you for being three of the best kids a mom could have. I love you all with all my heart!
To each and every one of my readers, without you I am nothing. I cannot thank you enough for being along for the journey. You are the reason I love doing what I do, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I Touch Myself by Blondie
I Can’t Wait by Ben Rue
I am 36 years old. I am married to my high school sweet heart. We have been married for 12 years and have 3 amazing kids. I’m a stay at home mom and my kids definitely keep me busy. I live at the Jersey Shore and love all there is to do here. I love nature, birds especially. I enjoy hiking and fishing with my family.
I have always loved to write. In high school I used to write stories, poems and a lot of love notes! I absolutely love to read. I love the way I can get lost in a book and forget about the world around me. Now that I am writing books, I feel the same way, only it’s my book I’m getting lost in.
As for now, I am loving this journey of becoming an author. It has been more then I dreamed it would be.
You can always find me online. I love social media, so please feel free to interact with me.
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The Center Of His World—Coming Soon
Chapter 1
“SHIT!” I thought I heard, but my head was killing me and I was too scared to open my eyes or even move at this point to see who said it. I don’t remember much of last night. I remember winning the football game. The football players, us cheerleaders, and a whole shit load more all went to Lisa’s house for a party. There was dancing, drinking, making out, drinking . . . oh shit I said that. There was a shit load of drinking. I remember dancing with all my girls when Josh, my boyfriend, came over and we went outside to hang out for a while. I remember drinking more and it’s all blank from there. My freaking head is pounding.
“Beth. Shit, Beth!” Oh my god who the fuck is yelling. “Beth!” Are you kidding me, shut the fuck up. I’m thinking this because if I open my mouth I’m pretty sure I’m going to throw up. I feel a shove on my shoulder “Beth.” Who the hell is in my room? Again, I feel a shove. Fucking Josh, why is he here so early or did he stay the night? I’m never drinking that much again, I can’t even remember if he stayed. “Shit Beth, please wake the fuck up!”
I decide it’s best if I just roll over slowly and keep my arm on my eyes, that way he’ll know I’m up . . . kind of. So I do, I roll over and keep my arm on my eyes. “What the fuck Josh, my head is killing me, please shut the fuck up.” I said in a quiet whisper so my head doesn’t explode. Never did I expect to happen, what happens next.
“Beth, oh my God, holy shit.” And I realize it’s not Josh talking, that’s not his voice. I sit up and grab the sheet to cover myself and try to get my bearings of just what the hell is going on. I turn my head
and see him, Shaun. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I’m so confused. What happened, well I’m pretty sure we had sex considering we are both naked, but how, why? All these questions are running through my already pounding head.
He is staring at me wide eyed and I just cover my face with my hands. I’m humiliated. This is my best friend Stacey’s boyfriend, he’s Josh’s best friend. Don’t get me wrong am I attracted to him, hell yes. I always have been, but Stacey went after him and got him. I would never have done anything after that. I moped around for a while behind closed doors, because she got him and I didn’t stand a chance. Then I started going out with Josh and it’s been that way for most of high school. I always felt bad for Shaun because Stacey, although my best friend, is not a great girlfriend. She likes to flirt, she likes to have all the attention and she gets it. After all when you’re a cheerleader and you are gorgeous that’s just what happens. Shaun usually acts like it doesn’t bother him and he says it’s because she is leaving with him. But I know he is full of shit, because Stacey is the female version of Josh. He loves to flirt, loves the attention from all the girls. I too act like it doesn’t bother me, but I hate it. I get so jealous I can’t see straight sometimes.
“Umm Beth?” Shaun says bringing me back to the here and now.
“Oh my god Shaun, what the hell happened?” I say in a whisper so quiet I don’t even know if he hears me.
“I don’t know.” Is all he says. I look over at him and he is still looking at me with wide eyes.
“I don’t remember much from last night, last I remember I was outside with Josh . . .” I trail off because I feel like the biggest slut ever talking about my boyfriend to the guy I just had sex with. I feel my whole face flaming with my embarrassment.
Shaun grabs my face and turns it towards him. “Listen to me, we fucked up. WE fucked up, not just you Beth do you hear me? Please don’t put this all on yourself, I was right here with you.” He’s says this with such conviction that I think for one minute that maybe things will be alright. Then the reality of it all hits me, and I begin crying. Just a few tears at first, but when Shaun grabs me and holds me tight I begin to sob. “Beautiful girl, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. Shit Beth, I’m so sorry.” He says this the whole time I am sobbing on his bare chest, speaking into my ear. I finally get myself under control and pull away from him. I can see that he has tears in his eyes. I’m sure he feels like shit, cheating on Stacey and with his best friend’s girl no less. I’m such a slut!
“How did this happen?” I ask because I honestly have no idea. He takes a deep breath and runs his hands through his thoroughly fucked hair. Ugh slut, slut, slut!
“Okay, so last night when you were outside with Josh, you were really drunk, like really drunk. I was sitting out there because Stacey was off doing her usual flirt with me I need attention thing. Anyway, you guys were kissing and then Maxie came outside. Josh just happened to pull away from you at that point and he winked at her. I’m not sure if it was the drinking that made you so tough ass, but you started yelling at him. Told him that he needed to stop flirting with every and I quote ‘whore’ that walked passed him. You both started really fighting and he told you that you could find your own way home. He left shortly after. Alone, in case you’re wondering.” He stops to let me process this information. I look over at him and start to cry all over again. I can’t believe what I’ve done. I’m a cheat and I made myself look like an asshole last night. Again, Shaun grabs ahold of me and lets me cry it out. He keeps apologizing and he is stroking my hair the whole time. I can’t help but think, just for a minute how good it feels to be in his arms. To feel like someone is caring for me. Josh is not exactly a tender person. He’s not big on cuddling, holding me or caring for me if I’m upset. He has never once held me like Shaun is right now. I break away from him because I shouldn’t like how this feels. I need to remember what I did. I look up at him silently thanking him for holding me. He must understand, because he moves the hair from my face and just nods.
“I’m sorry I am such a mess Shaun, what happened next?” Although I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that. He sighs and runs his hands in his hair again. I’ve known Shaun for years and I know this is a nervous habit. He clears his throat and begins.
“Well after Josh left you looked so sad and broken. I thought that I would help by getting drunk with you. Stacey was still off doing her thing, so you and I had some beers, and I had shots. Then some more shots. Next thing I know we are in here making out and I keep thinking this is not a good idea, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I’m so sorry Beth, I should never have taken advantage of you like that.” He looks so broken, that I grab him and hold on.
“Shaun, you just finished telling me not to take all the blame, same goes for you. I was here too.” I say trying to take some of his pain away. I’m still holding on, but I feel him shaking his head.
