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Kallie and Jax stand up and give her a hug goodbye. She starts to walk away and I stand up and rush over to her.
“Hey.” She turns to me. “Are you sure you’re all right to drive?”
She smiles. “Yes, I haven’t had anything to drink since I first got here. Even then, I only had two beers. But thank you for asking.” She starts to turn and I gently grab her hand.
“I’ll walk you to your car.” She focuses down at our hands and tries to hold in her smile. We go out the side fence, that way no one inside would be all over us. When we get to the front, I look around but don’t see a car. “Where did you park?” She pulls her hand out of mine and points all the way down the street. “Holy shit. Come on.” We walk and neither of us says anything. It’s not an uncomfortable silence, and it feels as though we’re trying to absorb the last few hours.
When we get to her car, she clicks the button to unlock it and turns to me. “I had fun tonight, Blake. I’m glad I came.”
I move closer to her and slowly bring my lips close to hers. “I had fun too, and I’m really glad you came, and that you were honest with me. I’ll call you tomorrow before I pick you up.”
I’m close enough to kiss her, and damn, I want to, but I want to make sure we’re both on the same page here. I definitely can feel her heavy breathing on my face, so I know I am affecting her again.
“Looking forward to it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I step back after that and she opens her car door and climbs in. “Good night.”
“Good night.” I close the door and stand there until I can’t see her taillights anymore. I walk back to the house and go into the backyard. Kallie and Jax are still at the fire, so I grab my cigarettes and head over to them. I have one lit before I even sit down. “So, Brody and Shannon went back to his place, huh? That’s serious for him.” They both start laughing, but I just ignore them and stare at the fire.
“Yeah, brother, it is serious for him. Unfortunately, she doesn’t live here. He didn’t mention that, but she told us she’s going back home to Arizona tomorrow.”
That gets my attention and I turn to him. “No fucking way. So what does that mean?”
He shrugs his shoulders and Kallie reaches over to hold his hand. “It means that he is going to have to decide if a long-distance relationship is worth trying out,” she says.
I nod my head at her and focus back at the fire. I had no idea Shannon didn’t live here. I wonder if he knew?
“So, what exactly did you and London talk about?” Kallie asks.
I finish off my smoke and throw it into the fire. “We talked about a lot of things, but I’m not sure what the hell any of it meant.” I glance over at Jax. “Why the fuck do you keep grinning at me?”
“Brother, you are totally into London. You have been ever since New York. You won’t admit it out loud, but I know you. I know you’ve done nothing but think about her, to the point of not even being into any other woman. You were hurt when she ignored you, but tonight, I finally saw you smiling again. You are so into her and it is now my turn to give you shit about it.”
What the hell does he want me to say to that? He’s right about all of it, especially the part of me not wanting to admit it. “You are an asshole. Yeah, I think she’s great, but how can I be into her? I don’t even know her, so don’t act like you know me so well.” He won’t buy it, but I’m sticking to it.
“Blake, I was into Kallie before I even saw her face. I was into her when I saw her laughing. So, don’t act like it’s not possible. Even a mut like you can finally find someone worth changing for.” There is nothing to do but laugh and they join right in.
After a few minutes of silence, I finally decide to call it a night. Part of me wants to tell them about our dinner date, but another part, the bigger part, decides that until I know if anything is going to happen to keep it quiet.
“I’m going to head in. Hey, let me know what happens with Brody. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I take a shower and throw on a pair of boxers before heading to my room. I climb into bed, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I’m lonely. But I don’t want just a random chick in my bed. I want London.
Chapter Five
London
Saying goodbye to Shannon was horrible. I didn’t want her to leave. I’m finally finding myself again, and she’s the reason why. Without her, I’m terrified I’ll climb back into my bubble and stay there. The last week, especially the last few days, has been amazing. I’m remembering who I am and I love her. Just thinking about the way I was with Blake last night, that’s Laken, not London. That’s the girl I used to be, open, funny, outgoing. It’s been a long time since I’ve been my true self, and even though I’m scared that going out to dinner with Blake may be a terrible idea, I’m doing it anyway. I’m doing it because Laken would do it.
Shannon asked for all the details of what happened with Blake, and I was all too ready to tell her about it. She was not only so proud of me, but excited. You would have thought she was the one going out tonight. When I was done telling her about my night, I couldn’t wait to hear about hers. She told me how Brody took her back to his place, which she said was a beautiful house right on the ocean. She said that for the majority of the night they sat outside talking, but they finally made it to the bedroom. He told her that he had been in a horrible relationship and it had been a long time since he had been with anyone. It was like listening to her talk about me. My heart hurt for him, even though I didn’t know the details of what happened.
She didn’t go into a crazy amount of details, but she did say they had sex. It was the most intimate, romantic, and mind-blowing sex she had ever had. He held her all night and they decided before she left that they would try the long-distance thing. I’m not sure I believe something like that can work, but if she thinks it can, I will support her one hundred percent.
She left about an hour ago and I’ve decided to write for a while. I’ve neglected my writing since Shannon came, and I need to get myself back into it. I have a deadline and I’m not going to miss it. I end up writing for close to four hours, and I’m proud of myself for the progress I made. I save all my work and go sit on the couch to watch a little TV before I take a shower. My stomach is in knots with the thought of going out with Blake tonight. I’m so attracted to him, more than anyone I can remember. Definitely more than the man I was going to marry. Blake comes off as this perverted, man slut dumbass, but when we talked in his bedroom, I saw a totally different guy. He was sweet, understanding, and listened to everything. He got angry when I called him out on things, and I could clearly see hurt with other things. When he wrapped his arm around me, holy shit, I felt it all the way to my knees, as in they wanted to give out. He smelled amazing. His solid chest pressed up against my back and his breath fanned across my face when he talked. Yep, I definitely had wet panties.
It is all of that which makes me so nervous. I feel like going out with my model for fun is one thing, but going out with my model in hopes of sleeping with him, or maybe dating him, is something else completely different. I know there is no written rule that says you can’t be with your model, and I’m willing to bet that many authors have, but that’s not me. I know he says we can take it slow, and I want to, but when I’m around him, it feels impossible. I want him to rip my clothes off and show me what I dream about.
My phone rings, snapping me out of my thoughts. When I see it’s Blake, my heart pounds and my palms get sweaty. Damn it, he’s just a guy…a sexy, muscular, tattooed model. My phone rings again. Shit. I clear my throat and answer, “Hello?”
“Hey, London.”
Just hearing his voice makes me smile. It’s so deep and masculine, such a turn-on. “Hi, Blake. What’s up?”
