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After I shower and pack up, I text Jax to see what time we’re leaving. He tells me that we need to head out in about an hour, so I decide to go to London’s room. I just can’t get her off my mind, and I want to make sure she’s all right with everything that happened last night. I walk down the hall, and when I see her door open, I walk in. The cleaning lady is in there.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

I look at her and frown. “Where’s the woman that was staying in here?”

She continues to make the bed but answers me while pulling the covers up. “I’m not sure, sir, but if I’m here, she’s not. I got my cleaning orders early this morning and this room was on it. I assume she checked out very early. You could ask the front desk to be sure.”

I can’t believe she would just up and leave like that. It’s such a me move. No wonder women are always pissed at me. This isn’t a good feeling.

“Umm, thanks.” I don’t know what else to say. I decide to grab my bag from my room and head down to get something to eat.

I’ve just gotten my first cup of coffee when Jax and Kallie plop down at my table. “Morning,” Jax says.

I smile up at him. “Morning, brother.” Kallie looks at me and I wink at her.

For most of breakfast we just talk about the signing and being in New York. None of us bring up London. I think this is a good thing, and they probably didn’t even r

ealize we left together, so I’m probably safe.

“Ugh, I can’t fucking take it. Blake, did you sleep with London last night?”

I stare at Kallie with wide eyes and turn to Jax. He just lifts his shoulders, pretty much saying I’m on my own. I’m not about to let her or anyone know that London got under my skin, that’s for damn sure.

“We had a fun night and she left this morning. End of story.”

She shakes her head and stares me down. “It’s not the end of the story. Where is she this morning? Avoiding you, the situation? You’ll never learn, Blake, not until you lose your modeling career.”

I love Kallie, I do. It took me time to get to that point, but I now consider her like a sister…a pain in the ass sister. “You worry enough for all of us, Kallie, so I know I’m good.” I chuckle and take a sip of my coffee.

“You’re an asshole and you probably lost any future covers you could have had.”

I lift my shoulders because I know she’s right. I knew last night it was a possibility, but I wouldn’t have changed it. London ran this morning, but last night she wanted to feel everything and she did. We both did. “I’m sure she’ll still use you as a photog, Kallie, don’t worry.”

She drops her fork on her plate, making it echo through the restaurant. “You think that’s what this is about? That I’m worried about losing a potential author to work with or losing money? You really are a fucking idiot. I’m worried about how you make these women feel. You sleep with them, leave them, and move on. You don’t get to know any of them for more than a night and not to mention that I really like her. She’s not going to be friends with me when she’s trying to avoid you.”

I’m not about to let anyone know she’s the one who walked out on me. They all think I’m the asshole anyway, so they can just keep on thinking it. “It will be fine. We had a good night. She’s not like that. I’ll call her when we get home, if that makes you feel better.”

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

We leave New York, and I feel like a piece of me left with London. I fucking hate it because I feel like Jax, and that’s something I don’t want. I know it will all go back to normal when we get home. I just need to take the advice I kept giving Jax. I’ll fuck her out of my system if I need to.

Chapter One

London

“I want to feel the pain, Blake, please.” I snap my eyes open and hit the alarm clock. I blow out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. It’s been two months since the signing in New York, and almost every night since, I’ve had this reoccurring dream about having sex with Blake. It is so vivid, so real, that a few times when I woke up, my panties were wet. The thing is, I don’t remember anything from that night after dancing at the last club, so I don’t know what to think of the dreams. I have no idea if we had wild sex, how long it lasted, or even if I enjoyed it, and I probably never will, but there is no doubt that in my dreams that is exactly how it is.

Not only that, but since that night, I can’t seem to suppress my feelings like I used to. When I left Axel, I pushed everything down and left it there. I didn’t deal with the shit that had happened, and I’ve been avoiding feeling anything since. Now I find myself getting angry and even crying. I never cry. I think my head is so fucked up with what happened, and it must be how I’m trying to cope.

My alarm goes off again and I groan, smacking it off. I throw off the covers and jump in the shower to start my day. Once I’m ready, I head to the restaurant. I’m no longer a waitress, now I manage the place. I’m lucky because I’ve arranged to have my schedule so I work Monday through Friday, having the weekends off.

When I pull into the parking lot, my phone rings. I grab it out of my purse and smile when I see it’s my friend Shannon. “Hey, how are you?” I met Shannon in college and we’ve been friends ever since. She graduated the year before me and moved to Arizona, so she wasn’t around when everything happened with Axel. She was one of the first people I called when I got to California. She wanted me to move in with her and it was tempting, but I was so scared when I left, I didn’t want anyone else to get involved. She’s been checking on me daily since, to make sure I’m doing all right.

“Hey. I know you’re probably just getting to work, but I’ve got some news.”

I smile because she knows my schedule as well as I do. “Well, don’t keep me waiting, what’s the news?” I sip my coffee, looking at the restaurant while she laughs.

“I’m coming out. I’ll be there Friday night.”

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