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jumps up on a chair. “Brooklyn, lesson number one starts with our debut album. Are you ready?”
“Do I have a choice?” I say and they all yell, while Fitz squeezes me just a bit tighter.
A slow beat starts and the tempo fills the small room. The music moves through me and it’s the most surreal feeling I’ve ever felt. The guys I’m sitting here with, are the same ones that I’m listening to. It sounds corny, but I feel special I get this much of their attention. They all shut up and listen right along with me, with smiles on their faces. It is so clear that they are proud of what they do and they should be. This song is great. It’s got meaning and I can make out every word Fitz sings. Song after song, it’s the same thing. I get a little background as to how they came up with the idea for it, what went into writing and recording it and I listen to it.
When the eighth song is on Fitz moves my hair off of my shoulder and I turn my head to look at him. I’m so close, too close, to his lips. He is once again searching my face before staring into my eyes. “I can feel your body moving to the beat. You like it don’t you?” he asks, but not in a condescending way. He asks it with the hope that I do like it.
“Between you and I,” I say and look around at the other guys before turning back to him. “I think I found my new favorite band.” I smile and he wraps his arms around me, holding me close.
“Fuck yes, you’ve crossed over,” he yells and they all cheer with excitement, high fiving each other. “This is where you belong,” he whispers.
I pull back and climb off his lap. This is too much, I can’t do this. I have a boyfriend. “I need to use the bathroom,” I lie.
He simply nods and I can’t get out fast enough. I walk out of the sound booth and lean against the wall. What the fuck am I doing? I cover my face and try to catch my breath that Fitz seems to have stolen.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I hear and snap my head up. Nate is standing there and reaches out to rub my arm.
I shake my head and force a smile. “Oh nothing,” I say and force a laugh to go along with that smile. “I’m just cursing myself for getting sucked into this music so fast. I never thought I’d like anything, but country.”
He doesn’t buy it, I can totally tell. He raises an eyebrow drawing my attention to his brown eyes as he leans his muscular tattooed body on the wall opposite me. “Is it just the music you’re getting sucked into?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This isn’t a conversation I want to have with anyone, never mind one of his band mates. “Of course it’s just the music,” I say and cross my arms, feeling the need to hold myself together.
“It’s none of my business, I was just asking. I mean we’ve never had another girl around this long besides Poppy. I’m not sure what to make of it,” he says and shoves his hands into his pockets.
I force a grin and shake my head, focusing on the floor. For someone who says it’s none of his business, he appears to be pretty involved. “There is nothing to make of anything. I’m here because I’m Poppy’s friend. That’s it, no other reason.”
“Brooklyn, I’m not trying to make you feel bad or have you spill your guts to me. I’m just checking on you, as a friend. However, as a friend I just want to tell you that Fitz never acts this way,” he says and shrugs his big shoulders.
Pushing off the brick wall, I shrug my shoulders to mirror his action. “That’s great you and Poppy think this is some kind of dating show, but I have a boyfriend. Maybe you should talk to Fitz instead and remind him of that fact.”
After my chat with Nate, I rush into the restroom and wash my hands. I can’t think straight around Fitz. It’s like my mind and body aren’t cooperating and I can’t decide what to do. Should I break up with Hank? Even if I did, I wouldn’t jump right into something with Fitz. If he even wanted me. I open the door and he is the first thing I see, and as soon as our eyes meet it’s almost as if everything else fades into oblivion. He leans on the wall, much like he was the first night I met him, but this time his head is down, his dark hair in his eyes. That is until he hears the door. He whips his head up and pushes off the wall. Before I can even stop him, he places his hands on my face and wipes under my eyes with his thumbs.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’ll admit, I’m attracted to you and the fact that someone else has you kills me.” I go to interrupt, but he places a finger on my lips and continues. “But I see I’m hurting you and that is something I can change.” He takes a deep breath and kisses my forehead.
The tears start to flow and I rest my forehead against his chest. “Fitz, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell like that and I definitely didn’t mean for you to hear me. You make me feel things I’ve never felt and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it, but that’s what makes me feel guilty. This isn’t who I am,” I say, my voice cracks as I try to hold back heavy tears.
“Oh damn Brooklyn, don’t do this,” he says and pulls back a tiny bit to have me look at him. “Don’t cry. You haven’t done anything wrong, hell neither have I. You told me from the beginning you had a boyfriend, and maybe I pushed the limits a little bit, but I didn’t cross any lines. I didn’t kiss you when I wanted nothing more than to taste your lips. I didn’t run my hands all over your body when I wanted nothing more than to learn every curve. I didn’t bring you to my bed and worship you the way you deserve to be.” I go to pull away and he tightens his hold. “My point is, just because we have had thoughts like that, doesn’t mean we will act on them. I’ll never do anything to disrespect you or make you feel uncomfortable. I just want to spend time with you, enjoy each other’s company while you’re here.”
My heart pounds, my pulse races and my body feels like putty in his hands. He says everything I’ve ever wanted to hear from someone, he wants me. He doesn’t want to schedule me in or only touch me when it’s time for sex. The thing is, it’s too late because I have a life and he has a life, neither which the other belongs. He’s right though, we can at least enjoy each other’s company.
“I feel like such a damn fool. Can we still be friends?” I ask.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “Never feel like a fool for saying what you feel. Brooklyn, we are friends and nothing will change that. Now, if you’d like, the guys and I have one last thing to show you. Then we were all going to go back to my place and order some food.” I agree and he holds my hand until we get back into the sound booth. He turns to me and says, “By the way, I won’t forget you that easily.” He doesn’t wait for a reply, just enters the recording booth.
To my surprise the rest of the band is there. Fitz points to the headphones and I put them on. I listen to them talking and tuning their instruments. After a few minutes, Fitz nods to them and my ears are filled with Fitz’s voice. It’s the song I heard yesterday, their new one and they’re playing it live for me. I get to have my very own private concert of Renegade, while the rest of the world could only wish for something this intimate. I close my eyes and just let Fitz’s voice and the music wrap around me. They are so talented and I can without a doubt say this song will always be my favorite. When they’re done I open my eyes and see their smiling faces.
“Well, what do you think Brooklyn?” Nate asks.
I give two thumbs up and say, “You guys are amazing and I will listen to everything you play.” I have no idea if they can hear me, but I say it anyway.
We finally leave the studio and thankfully no one says anything about my outburst. I’m sure they heard me if Fitz did, but they never bring it up or make me feel uncomfortable about it. We all cram into Ethen’s truck and we head to Fitz’s. I’m excited to see where he lives, what it looks like. I have an idea in my head, but I did with Poppy’s place too.
“Now that we converted you, are you going to come to one of our concerts?” Ralph asks raising a pierced eyebrow.
“If you guys are ever in my area, I’ll definitely be there,” I say and he holds up his hand for me to high five.
“Where in California do you live?” Fitz asks.
