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“Can I have your attention?” He looks over at me holding a hand out, so of course I take it. “I want you all to know that I love this woman. And son of a bitch if she doesn’t love me back.” I’m equal parts embarrassed and blown away. The applause, the whistling, and even the women ‘booing’ is deafening. He puts the mic back and helps me off the stage. When we make it back over to the bar, all of our friends are waiting with huge smiles on their faces.
“Not that I’m surprised, but I’m happy as hell for you guys.” Levi hugs us both and my girls pull me in for a hug.
“Alright, shit. We said we love each other, we’re not engaged.” We all laugh and spend the rest of the night enjoying each other’s company.
When Cooper and I finally make it back to his place, it is nearly four-thirty in the morning. As much as I was hoping to make love to him tonight to show him, not just tell him that I love him, it’s impossible. While he takes a shower, I fall asleep with my clothes and boots still on.
I crack my eyes open and look at the clock. It’s already ten, yet my body still feels exhausted. I feel Cooper kiss my shoulder and I’m surprised to realize I’m in my bra and panties. He must have undressed me when he came to bed. I smile at the realization that this man is forever taking care of me and he loves me. I roll over and kiss him. “Good morning.”
“Morning.” We just stare at each other like two lovesick fools, which I guess we are. Cooper climbs on top of me, kissing me slowly. He takes off my bra and panties while I remove his boxers. He rolls a condom on and we make love. It’s unhurried, gentle, and sweet. We never break eye contact, even when we both fall over the edge. “I love you, Emma.”
“I love you too, Cooper.”
AFTER EMMA AND I MAKE love, we get up to have some breakfast. That’s when it happens, the frantic banging on my door. I rush over and swing it open knowing full well that it is my mom. She falls forward when I open the door, but I catch her before she hits the floor. “Come on, Mom. I’ve got you.” I guide her to the couch, helping her sit down.
“WHY?” she screams at the top of her lungs. Damn it, it’s happening more often again. She must not be taking her medicine. Right now, obviously, not the time to bring it up to her. She has her face buried in her hands, screaming for my dad in between body-shaking sobs. I rub her back and tell her over and over that I’m here for her. This goes on for over a half-hour, but she finally lifts her head to look at me. Fuck, she looks horrible again. She is getting worse with taking care of herself.
“Mom, it’s alright, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” She starts to smile through the tears that continue to fall. Emma comes to stand by me and I feel like the worst fucking person because I actually forgot she was here. When my mom is like this, it takes all my attention, but that is no excuse. This is the woman I love, damn it. She kisses my head and leans toward my mom.
“Mary, I brought you some water.” My mom snaps her head up to look at Emma and, I’ll be honest, I’ve never seen her look this way before. She knocks the water out of Emma’s hand sending it flying across the living room.
“I don’t want your damn water. You’re trying to take my son away from me. He is all I have left and you’re trying to take him. You want me to be alone.” I’m shocked, humiliated, and pissed that she would treat Emma like this. I stand up, but Emma steps in front of me.
“Mary, I would never do that to you. I love your son more than life itself, but I would never take him away from you. I promise you that.” She looks up at Emma and I can see the confusion on her face. She probably hasn’t slept in days.
“Just get out and leave me with my son.” Emma starts to back away, but I put my arm around her shoulder holding her to me.
“Mom, I love you, but I will not allow you to come into my home and disrespect the woman I love. She’s not going anywhere and the sooner you accept that, the better off we will all be.” I kiss Emma’s cheek and when I turn to face my mom, she slaps my face. She’s never laid a hand on me in my life. I’m stunned silent for a minute holding my cheek.
“Don’t you tell me what to do. I’m your mother, God damn it. If your father was here, he would never allow you to talk to me that way.” I look over at Emma who has tears shining in her eyes. What the fuck am I supposed to do here? I take a deep breath and look at my mom.
“Mom, I think it’s time for a nap. When was the last time you slept?” She looks around extremely confused before sitting on the couch. She begins sobbing again so I sit and rub her back while I repeat my comforting phrase over and over. Emma comes out of the bedroom and I want to punch myself for not even realizing she left. She kisses my cheek so I turn to her.
“I’ll leave you two alone. She needs you right now. Call me if you need anything.” I start to get up but she shakes her head. “She needs you.” She says pointing to my mom. She leaves without even a glance back and for the first time since losing my dad, I resent my mom.
After Emma left, it took about an hour for my mom to finally fall asleep. She didn’t apologize, she didn’t even look at me. She cried herself to sleep calling for my dad to help her. I carried her to my bed and I’ve been sitting on the couch with my face in my hands for quite a while. How the fuck could my mom treat Emma like that? I feel like a fucking failure for not running after her. She did not deserve to be treated that way and I all but stood by and allowed it. I need to make things right. I quietly get my phone out of my room and go sit on the back stairs. I dial Emma’s number with my heart in my throat.
“Hello?” I close my eyes tightly and wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans. At least she answered.
“Hi.” So fucking lame.
“Hi.” Well, she seems to be just as lame. I blow out a breath and decide to bite the bullet.
“Emma, I am so sorry for the way my mom treated you today. She had no right to speak to you that way, and I was an asshole for allowing it. I can’t tell you how awful I feel about it.”
“Cooper, listen. I know she didn’t mean it and that you did what you had to do. I’ll admit, it hurt like hell, but I realize how much she needs you.” What a fucking douche bag I am for allowing her to feel an ounce of pain because of me.
“You have to know how much I love you, Emma. I would never purposely cause you pain. I will never allow that to happen again. I promise you that.” She is quiet far longer than I would like and it makes my heart ache.
“Okay, Cooper, I believe you.” I breathe out a sigh of relief. Damn, this girl truly is my world. She asks about my mom and I tell her everything that happened after she left. We shift the conversation to talking about Levi and Rain. They left together last night and since I haven’t heard from him today, I’m assuming they had a good night. After we talk for a while, she needs to go do laundry, and I need to go make something to eat. We hang up, promising to call each other later.
After I make myself a sandwich, I grab my guitar out of my room and head to my office in the bar. It’s been a while since I wrote anything new, but Emma inspires me. I play around with the melody before I start coming up with lyrics. “You have my heart dancing,” I sing and like how it sounds. I start jotting down random words I will eventually work into a song. Love, dancing, hearts, music, inspire, protect, beautiful--all things I will incorporate at some point. I put down my pen and try a few different chords until I find one I like for the chorus. I can’t help but smile at the way this is coming together. It usually takes me a hell of a long to time get this much done. It just proves to me how inspiring she is to me. I glance at my phone, taking note that I need to head upstairs to eat and check on my mom because the bar will be opening soon. I put my guitar away and tuck Emma’s song into the drawer on my desk. I head upstairs and I’m happy to see my mom still sleeping. I make spaghetti and eat before putting on my ‘James Bar’ shirt to head down to the bar. I peek in on my mom and figure she will be out until tomorrow, so I should be fine. Honestly, I’m still upset with her so I think I need to be away.
For a Sunday, we are busy and I’m grateful because it keeps my mind occupied. Ralph comes in and I spill my guts to him for a change. He recommended taking Emma away for a few days to let her know just how important she is to me. This man is a fucking genius. I decide that is exactly what I’m going to do and I’ve got a few other tricks up my sleeve.
After I close and get everything cleaned up, I go back upstairs to start putting the wheels in motion. First, I call Roy to make sure he can take care of everything while I am gone. I then call Emma’s boss, Terry, and tell her my idea. She loves it and told me that Emma can have the days off. I take care of everything that needs to be done and before I know it, it is almost two in the morning. Fuck, I didn’t even get to talk to Emma again. I send her a text telling her that I love her and to call me tomorrow. I take a shower and make my bed on the couch. I fall asleep more excited for the weekend than I usually am.
I wake up early to a silent apartment. I slowly sit up and stretch the tightness out of my muscles. Sleeping on the couch sucks, but I’m sure I’ll be here most of the week. I grab my phone when it buzzes on the coffee table.
