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If I could draw breath, I would have given him a command.Bastard, I thought.
He was going to be the death of me.
Maddox
I saw her fall.
It broke my heart. When she lifted those dark eyes to me and the blue-flame light of her arcana winked out, I felt my stomach drop. Ice-cold fear hit my veins. My beast thrashed inside me. I tried to leash the creature, but it refused to be contained.
The fight was a double-edged blade. We were fighting for the same reason. Addie was in trouble. She needed protecting. We both thought we could do better than the other. The beast and I quarreled for control so that the victor could be the one to keep Addie safe.
And, in the end, it was killing Addie.
This had to stop. If only I could win. Couldn’t the beast see that Addie was suffering? Why wouldn’t it give in and just let me have control? The beast thought the same, though. It asked why I kept fighting when she was clearly hurting.
Not hurting.
Addie was dying.
As much as I hated it, I had to give in. The splintered wood of my porch railing bit into my palms until they hardened into the pads of wolf paws. I dropped to the porch and panted from the fight. Now that the beast had won, the air cleared.
I hadn’t meant to pull on Addie’s arcana like that. Both the wolf and I had taken her power, causing a vacuum that’d stolen her breath.
Across the lawn, Addie’s chest heaved. She gasped for air on her hands and knees. At least she was breathing again. I knew she would never forgive me for my inability to protect her from myself.
The wind through the trees called my name. I wanted to run away from my shame and embrace the wilds where there was no one that I could hurt. But I also didn’t want to leave her side. She still needed me.
Right?
That was the beast’s simple logic speaking. It was far more complicated than that. I could linger here in my wolf form, but when I changed back, I would have to do something about my lack of control. I couldn’t keep going on this way. It was time for a change.
I rose to my feet, swaying only slightly from the internal battle. Addie’s arcana churned inside me. It was like a whirlpool of ice dragging at my insides. I couldn’t swallow it all down. So, instead, I figured I would do something with it.
If Hel could rip into the veil to open a portal for me, then that meant Addie had the power to do so, too. I took Addie’s power and shoved it into the veil like a blade. The portal that opened was shaky. Who knew where it would take me?
I glanced back at Addie.
She lurched to her feet and flung out a hand to stop me.
Ryder Callahan told me that Pack meant I would always have people willing to help me. I hoped he knew what he was getting into.
