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“My dear, I’ve known all along. It’s…me. I’m your father.”
Oren’s declaration cracked through the room like a live wire, twisting around, shooting sparks. I froze, a gauntlet of emotions racing through me, chasing one another from my head to my heels and back up again. I was going to be sick. No, I was going to faint. The men stared at me expectantly, but I stood stricken, unable to move my face or any part of my body.
“Sweetheart…” Jace finally said. “Are you okay?”
I wasn’t. Oren? Oren was my father? I willed my head to turn in his direction, absorbing the shame and regret he wore all over his face.
“You,” I shouted at him. “You knew all along!”
“I’m sorry, my dear. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry you had to take on everything alone. Please believe I only wanted the best—”
“Bullshit! I can’t…I can’t do this now. Please excuse me.”
On wooden legs, I walked out of the parlor to the front door. Normally, I had enough strength to pull the door open with one hard yank, but my strength failed me, and it took several tries to crack the door far enough to slide through. I made my way across the rotting front porch and carefully down the stairs, walking into the field, far into the field, until I turned back and could see the house in its entirety looming above me.
I couldn’t think about this now. I needed something…someone…to steady me. I needed Jace.
Two figures emerged from the side of the house—Jace and Oren—and made their way over to Oren’s Mercedes SUV. They must have driven over together. I felt a sharp stab of pain as Oren looked out to the field. Our eyes met before he got into the driver’s seat. I expected to feel another stab once Jace walked around to get in beside him, but Jace stayed where he was, talking to Oren through the car window.
I saw Oren shake his head before putting the car in reverse and then pulling out into the tracks that would bring him back down to the main road. I didn’t know what I was doing, standing in the middle of the field, a light misting rain beginning to cloak the peninsula. I didn’t even bother trying to process what Oren had said—my brain was stuck on a single thought that kept repeating over and over. Oren is my father. Oren is my father. But what did that mean?
I forced myself to think about something else. I thought about all the times I’d gone to him, curious, asking that very question, and he’d lied to my face. Because there’d been a significant age gap between him and my mother. Significant. My mother had been a minor when she’d gotten pregnant. Was Oren a pedophile too? Was I the product of some sort of century-old pedo ring?
At least your father and grandfather aren’t the same person.
Breath frozen on a sob, I couldn’t stop myself from crumbling to the ground behind Jace’s back as he watched Oren disappear down the drive. When he turned, his face was a mask of sympathy. Too bad I didn’t want it. I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me. I just wanted him to love me again.
He strode powerfully across the distance that separated us, picking me up off the ground.
“Shhh, sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m sorry, but you needed to know. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.”
“How did you find out?” With my head cradled against Jace’s “G” tattoo, I didn’t recognize the voice that asked the question.
“Anna,” he said dully. “She must have known all along—manipulative bitch. I asked her for leads, and she sent me to Oren. He eventually confessed the truth.”
I knew I should be asking more questions, knew I should be talking about feelings. That’s what Penny would want me to do. But I didn’t want to. And I didn’t want to know any other details. For the first time in my life, the partial truth would do. I didn’t want to dig anymore. I didn’t want to feel. I just wanted to forget.
“Look, sweetheart, if you still don’t want to be with me, I’ll try to understand. For now. But I don’t think you should be alone tonight. Halloween is a bad night to be alone with your thoughts.”
“Jace?”
“Sweetheart?”
“I…I do want to be with you. I never didn’t want to be with you. I only felt like you didn’t want to be with me, and I needed to put us out of our misery.”
“I’m an asshole, sweetheart. I messed up. God, I messed everything up.”
“You didn’t. I should have told you about…everything.”
“Then we both messed up. But I think I understand you better now. And I’ll always want you. I’m sorry if I made you feel anything less than completely loved.”
