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Trek
She’s been distant, and that pisses me off for some reason. I hate seeing the frustrated look in her eyes, but it’s there.
“What the hell is wrong with you, and why are you starin’ a hole through her?” Cross asks as I lean back and watch her outside with the kids and other girls. It’s a nice day today, and the back of the clubhouse is fenced in. I don’t have to worry about anyone seeing her out here, but I’d kill a motherfucker if they did.
“I’m not starin’,” I tell him.
“Like fuck you’re not.”
“What the hell do you want anyway?” I ask, glancing over at him. He smirks but doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head. “Say what you wanna say, Cross.”
“You catchin’ feelings for that girl?”
“I ain’t catchin’ shit.” I sit back and light a cigarette before looking back over at her. I can’t help it. I’m drawn to her. I don’t know why, but I am. I run my free hand through my hair as Cross chuckles next to me.
“Don’t you have a bitch to fuck?” I ask him.
“I was about to ask you the same thing considerin’ I ain’t seen you with none of the club girls since she got here,” he says.
“Maybe you just haven’t been lookin’.” I blow a cloud of smoke into the air and sit back in my chair.
“We’ve all been lookin’. What is it with her? Cause you knew her?”
“I don’t know her anymore. I don’t know who she is,” I confess.
“And that bothers you?”
“To a point, yeah. She used to be my shadow, brother. Now, look at her.”
“I’m lookin’, and all I see is a girl who needs help.”
“Then you’re not lookin’ hard enough,” I tell him before shoving out of my chair and walking over to the cooler. I pull the top open and grab a cold beer when she walks over.
“Hey,” she says softly.
“Hey yourself. You havin’ a good time?”
“It’s nice being outside for a change.”
“You can come out back anytime. Just let someone know where you are,” I tell her.
“I’m sorry, Trek.”
“For what?”
“I hate what I’m doing to you. I hate that you’re even in this position and that I have to come to you.”
“What’s wrong with me?” I ask her. Fuck. I never thought she might not like me anymore. Maybe she wants one of the other guys. I don’t fucking know.
“Nothing is wrong with you. I like you.”
“Then I don’t see the problem.” I tip the beer to my lips and take a long pull when she steps into my space. Her lips come to rest on my throat as I swallow, kissing and sucking my skin. “What are you doin’?”
“This is what I mean,” she tells me.
“I don’t get it.”
“I like you, Trek. More than I should,” she tells me the truth. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to respond because this thing between us is only for her. It’s for her safety and my … what? My what? I don’t fucking know the answer to that either. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore.
I swallow hard as her lips move along my neck and down to my chest. She slowly slides her hands under my shirt, and I let a low growl escape me.
“There’s kids out here, darlin’.” She slowly pulls her hands away and takes a step back. Is that what I was trying to do? Get her to move?
“Sorry.”
“I didn’t tell you to stop. I said there were kids out here.” Her eyes leap to mine, and I question my sanity. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t want this, and yet I can’t seem to pull myself away from her. It’s like a goddamn magnet that keeps dragging me back. Heidi steps back into me, her lips going back to where they left off. She sucks until I feel like I’m going to explode, and then I move. I grab her chin roughly in my hand to get her attention.
“You’re playin’ with fire, Heidi. I don’t know how long I can let you take the lead,” I admit to her. She licks her lips, and I want nothing more than to fuck them. I want them wrapped around my cock as I thrust into them. Fuck, this is all wrong. Or is it?
“I don’t know if I can give you control.”
“And I don’t know if I can hold back takin’ it.”
“Do we stop this now?” she asks. I don’t want to stop it, do I? Why the hell is this so hard for me? What the fuck is going on inside my head?
“No.” She nods her head and steps back, but my grip on her chin remains. I drag her back toward me and lean down, touching my lips to hers. I slip my tongue into her mouth and toy with hers until she’s moaning.
“Fuck, the things I would do to you,” I tell her.
“One day?”
“One day, darlin’. One day.” She smiles, and her lips crash back into mine. I kiss her like I’ve never kissed anyone before.
“I told you,” I hear Cross say. I flip him off as Heidi pulls away from me and walks back over to the girls.
“Fuck off,” I tell him.
“I mean it, I see what you’re doin’.”
