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I shook my head. “My god, he doesn’t know.”
How was I supposed to tell an all-powerful being that his entire family line had been cursed?
I shuffled back to the living room, my feet dragging across the hardwood floor as I thought about the implications. Obviously, he needed a female to further the Weaver line, but whether that was all this was, I was no longer sure. Was the balance he spoke of regarding his queen related to having children as well? I thought I was chosen because of my magic alone. Because we were meant to be. God, I was tired of feeling stupid.
I flopped down on my bed, burying my face in my pillow. The idea of Roarke using me—unknowingly or not—sickened me. But it wasn’t all his fault. I had chosen this. Accepted him and his magic into my life. I wanted it and was happy with how things were going between us. But now everything just felt like a lie.
I sobbed into the down pillow, saturating the cotton cover with my angry tears. The more I thought about it, the more my stomach roiled in warning, telling me I’d need to keep this to myself. But how? How could I return to the dreamscape and act like nothing was wrong? Or perhaps I didn’t have to.
An idea formed, and I rolled over, cocking my arm over my eyes. If I created an elixir that kept me up all night, I could finish reading the book and gather the information I’d need to deal with this on my own.
The idea knotted in my chest, and I let myself cry, releasing a flood of doubts and fears until I had no more to shed. Sunlight beamed through the front windows, betraying the cool temperature outside as it lit up my cottage in the early morning hours. I’d have plenty of time to work on my elixir later and wondered if I took a nap now, could I do so without entering my dreams? I was emotionally exhausted and yearned for an escape.
My idea had merit, but I’d need to think this through. If I could find the witch, or any of her remaining line, I could break the curse. Then Roarke and I could be together in the real world and nothing else would matter.
I called Jenks to my side. “I’m going to take a quick nap, but I need you to connect to me and keep me grounded here.”
Jenks nuzzled under my extended hand, flipping it up and onto his back. And with my familiar in place, I closed my eyes again.
