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Twenty-Eight
The dream was a simple creation of my heart and soul, but I didn’t care. Lying on a bed of freshly cut grass, I reached out and took my mother’s hand.
“The sky is particularly fluffy today. We should be able to spot some great images.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks as the nearness of her voice was more than a memory here. I turned my head, peering into her kind green eyes. “I’d be happy to spend all day cloud painting with you.”
That’s what we used to call it: cloud painting. After a long day’s work in the garden, we’d lie in the grass and paint the sky with images we saw in the clouds. There were times I thought it was silly. But I’d give anything to be that little girl again, living a simple life with her mom by her side.
A sweet smile pulled at her lips, and I had to turn away. I could spend forever with her here, and that was a dangerous thing to consider. With the power of the Weaver coursing through my veins, I could return here as often as I wanted, and the idea of walking away suddenly seemed like a mistake.
We spent hours painting the sky, calling out the shapes as they floated in and out of view.
“There! See the panda?” Mom pointed to a particularly poofy cloud.
“I see it!” I laughed, fighting back more tears. “Mama, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, sweet girl. What is it?”
I took a deep breath. “I’ve met someone, and I love him. But being with him will change me—”
“Stop right there,” Mama interrupted, rolling to face me. “Change is inevitable. But the question is: Are you happy with who you are now, or would you be a better version of yourself if you allowed it to occur?”
“I’m not sure. And there’s no way to tell. It has to do with our magic and my role as his chosen mate.”
“Mate?” She sat up, shaking her head. “A soul bond is a powerful thing. But you need to think about what’s right for you, Milly. At your core. Then consider how you would feel about yourself and who you would become if you stayed the course with him.” She reached for my hand. “I would tell you to follow your heart, but it can be such a fickle thing. In this case, I think you need to listen to what’s in your head and use your goddess-given magic to search within your soul. Only then will the answer be revealed.”
It was as if my dreamscape knew what I had to do and was forcing the words through Mama’s mouth. I had already searched my soul and knew I couldn’t be the one to inflict nightmares upon the world. It simply wasn’t who I was or who I wanted to be.
The scene around us flickered, and I knew it was time to go. “Thank you, Mama. I love you so much. This has been the best day I’ve had in a really long time.”
“Oh, sweet girl, I’m always around. Just look to the sky and find me in the clouds.”
I closed my eyes as she placed a kiss on my cheek, her warmth filling me and bringing me back to my true self.
Waking back on the couch, I wiped my cheeks clean. Jenks purred at my side, his little paw outstretched and resting atop my heart. “Thank you, sweet boy. I know you miss her too.”
The fire flared, and I laughed out loud. This home… this life we’d created here was ingrained in me, and while I did love Roarke, I didn’t need his magic to be happy. I only needed him.
By early evening, I’d cast five more spells trying to identify Agitha or her bloodline in any way.
“Dammit.” I tossed my pendulum down onto my altar cloth, failing yet again. It was as though the information was somehow being blocked from me. “I’m running out of ideas, buddy. Got any suggestions?”
Jenks lowered himself to the ground, covering his head with his front paws.
“It’s okay, baby. I’ll figure it out.” I didn’t want him to feel like he was letting me down, but the truth was I had no idea what to do next. My only option was to meet Roarke in the dreamscape and tell him what was going on.
Maybe if he accepted my plan to break the curse, he could help me identify where to go and who I needed to find. But the idea of telling him I was walking away made my stomach churn and my heart ache.
If we lived in a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to choose at all. I could continue to be Roarke’s queen in and out of the dreamscape without harming anyone along the way.
I thought back to my day spent with Mama and imagined staying there forever, embracing my dreams and the ones I loved.
I had no doubt others felt the same way. If given the choice, to escape the hardships of life and live within your dreams would be anyone’s preference. But that was it, wasn’t it? The Weavers couldn’t allow that choice.
Without nightmares, people would lose themselves in the fantasy of their peaceful dreams, becoming completely removed from the world. Nightmares were the dose of reality everyone needed to stay safe. Warnings your subconscious offered as a way to prepare you for life. It was like raising a child. If they weren’t taught to fear the fire, they would walk straight into it. Or play with a spider or snake that could kill them, if their parents hadn’t faced that fear of their own and taught them to steer clear of such things.
The Queen of Nightmares was a necessity to bring balance to the masses, but it was a role I wasn’t cut out for and simply couldn’t keep. Mama was right. I knew who I was deep within my soul.
