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“How?” he asked. “How can we fix it? You’re here. I’m going to be there.”
“Blaire and Campbell…”
West choked on a laugh. “Campbell is the biggest rockstar in the world, and Blaire has a job that she can do anywhere. Even for them, with nine years of love between them and a marriage, she’s still moving to LA with him because the long-distance is too hard.”
My eyes widened. “Blaire is moving there?”
“Not permanently, but yes.” His eyes were pleading with me. “Would you come to LA with me?”
I felt so young and stupid in that moment. “What would I do in LA, West?”
“You could work with an event planning firm in the city.”
“Do you know how competitive it is to get that kind of work there? Work that’s as good as what I’m doing here? I can’t go to LA on a hope that I’ll find a better job than the one I have here. On top of that, all my friends and family are here, too, except Campbell, who made his choice, and you, who is making the same choice.”
My words landed like a jab to the kidney.
West winced. He knew exactly what I’d gone through when Campbell first left. How broken I’d been after the death of our mother and then Campbell just up and leaving me all alone. I’d never quite gotten over my abandonment issues, and it didn’t look like it would be happening anytime soon.
“So, you’ll stay here, and I’ll go there. Just like we planned.”
“Neither of us planned this,” I shot back.
“The deal was that we would try this until I went back to LA.” His eyes hardened, as sharp as daggers. “You said I made my choice. So, I made it. You can’t expect me to give up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
“Of course not. I would never tell you to give up the band.”
“There’s no compromise here,” he said. “Neither of us will bend. You won’t leave, and I can’t stay. Not for you. Not for anyone.”
My heart crunched like broken glass being stepped on.
Why had I thought we could work this out? Why had I thought that love would be enough? When in my life had love ever been enough?
I’d loved my mom with all of my heart, and still, she’d chosen Campbell over the rest of our family. I’d loved Campbell, and he’d chosen LA. I’d loved August, and he’d chosen Tamara.
It tracked that when I fell in love again, I’d have my heart ripped out of my still-beating chest. Every person I’d ever held on to picked someone else over me. I’d thought that I was moving on from it. West had shown me how to move on, but he was a new source of the same problem.
I wasn’t enough.
I’d never ever been enough.
I took a step back as the realization slammed into me like a high-speed train.
“I can’t do this,” I said and brushed past him and toward my bedroom.
“Nora, what are you doing?”
“Leaving.”
“What?” he asked in shock. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. To Hollin’s.” Then, I shook my head. “No, my dad’s. I can’t stay here.”
“I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Then, you can spend your last night alone,” I said with a shake of my head. “Go live your big dream. I can’t be here and love you. Everything about this place is you. It’s all you.”
“Nora…”
“You made your choice, West.” I whipped around to face him. “Tell me you love me. Tell me we can work this out.”
I waited. I hoped. I prayed.
But West stared at me and remained silent. Those words didn’t pass his lips. He wasn’t going to try with me. It wasn’t worth it for him.
I’d settled for less than I deserved once before. I wouldn’t do it again. So, I turned my back on his silence and packed my suitcase. I held the tears back long enough to get into the car, but then they unleashed until I couldn’t even see the windshield. I pulled over and let all the devastation loose.
