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CHAPTER16

Alexa

* * *

“What’son your agenda for today?”

Luke finished dressing while I sat in bed, Leif in my arms being fed for the first time.

“I’ve got to give Professor Turner an answer today,” I said, admiring Luke as he pulled on a pair of slacks and fastened his belt.

“What’s your answer?” He turned to me, an expectant expression on his handsome face.

He already knew what it was, but I realized he was trying to be open to yes, if I changed my mind.

“I can’t say yes,” I replied.

I had spent the night sleeplessly considering my decision about the job offer.

I already knew what it would be. If Luke turned down a sweetheart merger deal with Hanson because he wanted us to be somewhere nearer to where I could ultimately get a job in my field, how could I accept this job and take Leif away from where Luke would have to spend most of his time?

Even if Luke traveled back and forth between Brussels and New York, it would be very disruptive to him, and would mean he had less time with Leif while he was growing up.

So, as much as the job appealed to me, as excited I might be about moving to Brussels and taking the job, I knew it was too soon.

Too soon to be going back to work after having Leif.

Too far away from New York.

There would be other opportunities — I was sure of it. Besides, I had to finish my PhD first.

“You can say yes,” he replied finally while he slipped on a clean white shirt. He turned to face me as he did up the buttons. “We can make it work if this is what you really want. We have every resource at our disposal — a nanny if you want one, housekeepers, and I can fly back and forth.”

“I know,” I said. “It’s just not the right time. There will be other opportunities.”

He came over and leaned down, kissing me on the lips tenderly. “As long as you’re happy.”

“I am. Brilliantly happy.”

I smiled and he kissed me again.

I finished feeding Leif and burped him, and then followed Luke to the kitchen. He quickly fixed a cup of coffee for us both while I put Leif in his seat. Luke poured himself some coffee in a travel mug and then handed me my own decaffeinated version.

“You’re so thoughtful,” I said.

He kissed me. “I’m so lucky.”

We had a quick breakfast and then I kissed Luke goodbye and held up Leif’s hand to wave at Luke as he walked down the front steps to the waiting limo that would take him into the city for his day of meetings.

“Good luck with your meetings,” I said, thinking about his meeting with the PI. “I’m worried about what he might tell you.”

“I’ll call you with any details if there’s anything of note. Otherwise, we can talk when I get home. Do you want me to pick something up for dinner on my way back? Chinese? Indian? Ricardo Ribs?”

“Ooh, Ricardo Ribs, please. And lots of their coleslaw.”

“Will do.”

I waved goodbye. Then, I went inside and got ready for the day. When I had Leif safely in his seat, surrounded by his toys, I took out my laptop and opened it, preparing myself for my letter to Professor Turner.

I chewed a fingernail, considering my words, and then opened my mailing app and created an email to her.

Dear Professor Turner,

Thanks so much for the offer of a position with you in Brussels. As much as the offer is tempting, and as much as it would be a dream come true to work with you in the job with the NGO, I am unable, at this time, to accept. Leif is still too young to be moved halfway around the world, and I really must finish my PhD before I do anything so major. While working for you would be wonderful experience on my C.V., I feel I have to put my family first and at this time, that means I have to regretfully decline.

I wish you all the best in your endeavours and thank you once again for the offer. Please keep me in mind for the future in case you need someone and I’m available. I would love to work with you and in this field.

Yours, Alexa Dixon-Marshall

I read the email over several times, and then glanced at Leif, who had one of his toys stuffed in his mouth.

“Well, little man, this is me turning down the best job offer I’ve ever had.”

Leif burbled around the toy in his mouth, unaware of the cruel world he would one day inherit. I sighed and sent the email off into the ether.

Then, I checked my other email and messages, and decided that instead of moping around about opportunities I couldn’t accept, I would spend the morning doing research on my dissertation. That would be a better use of my time than wondering what might have been.

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