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Please say something, Ryan.
Tell me you forgive me and that none of this matters.
“Harper, I understand this might not be the right moment, but can we talk some other time?” Ben’s voice interrupts my thoughts.
This time, Ryan takes his gaze off me to focus on Ben. If looks could kill, Ben would be charred meat by now. Which he doesn’t seem to understand since he’s still standing right there like an excited spectator, afraid to miss a single second.
I, on the other hand, wish I could miss this whole moment.
Everything was so perfect tonight, and then this shit show happened.
And you have no one but yourself to blame for this.
Crap, crap, crap.
My body’s finally catching up, and it feels like my insides are quivering.
“Let’s go.” Ryan grabs my wrist, halfway shoving Ben to the side to make proper room for me to leave.
I don’t know if he noticed that this is getting to me or not, but I’m grateful either way.
Ben shouts something behind me, but we both ignore him. Ryan hands me my purse and coat, and I follow him out into the cool March air.
I shoot glances at Ryan while we wait for a cab, but he ignores me.
This overwhelming sense of dread is so strong that I can feel my blood pressure rise. The pounding in my head gets stronger, and I’m relieved when a cab stops for us and we slide into the back seat.
Ryan doesn’t say a word the whole time, and I’m busy trying to deal with the pain in my head that’s making me slightly dizzy. I feel a little better by the time we arrive at the hotel, and despite what just went down, Ryan comes around the car to my door and helps me out. But the second I’m on my feet, he lets go, and I cling to my purse with both hands like it’s my lifeline.
Calm down. Everything’s going to be all right. It has to be. There’s no other option.
Once we’re in the suite, Ryan closes the door behind him with a quiet click.
Then he faces me and just regards me for several long moments. “Are you still staying tonight?”
His question throws me off for a second until I nod frantically. “Uh, sure. If . . . if that’s okay with you.”
“I need some time to process all of this, so I don’t want to talk about this tonight. Right now, I just want to go to sleep and pretend like nothing happened.”
My mind races, trying to follow this conversation. I’m not sure I understand his reasons, but I’m really not in the best position to argue.
So I nod again and say, “Okay.”
He dips his chin and walks to the dresser to empty his pockets. “You can use the bathroom first if you want.”
He doesn’t turn around, so I keep staring at his back, trying to figure out how to handle this situation. Getting ready is easy enough, so I step out of my shoes and go into the bathroom to get changed and washed up.
After I’m done, Ryan takes his turn, and I slip under the covers while I wait. It’s past eleven already, and I’m feeling it. We must have danced for longer than I thought. It was so much fun.
Until I messed everything up. Not that I didn’t know something was going to happen when he found out, but I was still hoping I could somehow get away with it.
Now that I’m lying down, exhaustion takes over, and I yawn.
I close my eyes to focus on my breathing for a minute, doing what I learned in my meditation app. With my right hand on my belly and my left hand on my chest, I breathe in through my nose, feeling my stomach expand, before I push out all the air again and my belly goes back down.
I yawn several more times in the process, my body and mind relaxing more with each second.
The next time I open my eyes, the sun shines brightly into the room. I’m disoriented for a moment and then everything comes back to me. I turn around but find Ryan’s side of the bed empty and cold. My gaze flickers to the dresser just to find it devoid of his items. A quick look around the room confirms what I’ve already suspected: all of his things are gone.
I wrap my arms around my aching chest and try to accept what happened.
Ryan left in the middle of the night and took my heart with him like a thief.
